Spent Christmas in chilly Western Mass. Had a great, relaxed time up until Christmas afternoon when I was hit full-on with one of the worst colds I've had in years. I literally did nothing at all Thursday night, Friday, and Saturday excpet sleep and take NyQil. I somehow managed to drive myself home on Sunday. I'm feeling better and have to work tomorrow. In some ways I'm glad that I was sick on vacation and not while I had to work, in other ways, for obvious reasons, I'm kind of pissed about it.
On Christmas I cooked a goose for the first time, for the wife's family. The trick to cooking goose is making sure you position and baste it properly, otherwise it's way too fatty. I went too far overboard though, and it ended up being dry and tough. It tasted good though.
My brother sent me a boxed set of Ingmar Bergman films and I made the wife's family sit down and watch "Smiles of a Summer Night" which no one liked and all thought was depressing and too serious. Oh well.
No plans for New Years. I have to work late Wednesday but I'm taking Thursday off.
Sunday, December 28, 2008
Why I Don't Watch Basketball Anymore
There are two pro sports I like: Baseball and Basketball. I have nothing personal against hockey, but I didn't grow up with it, and I find it hard to watch on TV. I actively dislike football for a number of reasons that I'll list on a different post. Other sports may have pro teams, but these four are the only ones on my radar.
The older I get, the more I find I like the idea of baseball rather than actual baseball games themselves. To me baseball is leisure-- having three free hours to sit and listen to or watch an entire game, night after night, for an entire summer. Baseball is long stretches with not a whole lot going on, punctuated by moments of great excitement. Baseball is also appealing because deep down every kid knows he COULD be a baseball player. Baseball players come in all shapes and sizes. You don't have to be strong or fast or tall to be a good baseball player. You just have to be good at playing baseball.
Baseball season always winds down right around the time basketball pre-season is gearing up. So they're a perfect compliment for one another. Basketball is played indoors and is faster-paced. Basketball has more of a gritty, urban feel to it than baseball, which has more of an old-timey bucolic feel. Basketball games aren't on every night, just three or four times a week, easier to follow when life is busier. Unless it's a great game going into overtime, there's no danger of the game going on forever. Right as basketball season is winding down (the playoffs go on forever), baseball season is starting up again. By the time the NBA championships are over, the mid-season penant races are starting to heat up in baseball, and it's only a few weeks until the all-star game.
All this sounds great, but truth is, I rarely watch basketball (or baseball, for that matter) anymore. I used to follow the Lakers religiously when I was in high school. I knew not only all the players on the team, but on all the teams, especially the ones in the Pacific Division that the Lakers played five or six times a season. I wish I could get back into it, but I can't. I think, sadly, my days of enjoying watching basketball are behind me. I may catch a game now and then, but things will never be the way they once were. The reasons? Well:
1. I'm older than almost all the players in the NBA now. It's hard to look at the guys playing now the way I looked at Worthy and Scott, when I realize that most of them were born in the 1980s. Some of them now in the LATE 1980s.
2. I started working. Ever since I started working I've found it hard to get excited about the games. Priorities change and I'd usually rather be doing something else with the few spare hours I might have available after dinner every night. Part of it, I'll admit, is the realization of how much these guys are getting paid for what they do. I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but I am saying that I enjoy the games less knowing that these guys are all getting paid millions.
3. Chick Hearn died. A huge part of my enjoyment in watching the games was listening to Chick Hearn. Now that he's not announcing anymore it just isn't the same.
4. I moved. The local teams are fine, but I just can't get excited about them the way I could about the local teams when I was a kid. When the Celtics or Knicks are playing the Lakers my role is always as 'The guy from the visitor's city, who's rooting against the home team."
5. The players are too human. Goes hand in hand with being older than most of them. Though I could swear there are more thugs and criminals in the NBA now than there were 15 years ago. You would hear about certain players having run-ins with the law, but now it's much more in-your-face, widely reported, and probably just happens more often. There's more of a culture of being proud to be a thug that's infiltrated the NBA, that wasn't there before guys like Iverson and Spreewell came into the league.
6. I'm not a kid anymore. Really the most important thing. Sports are for kids. Period. You can enjoy the game as an adult, you can call yourself a fan, but the culture of being a fan, is for kids. Sports heroes are sports heroes because they're what a young guy fantasizes he can be like as a man in this world. He can do great things, he can rise to the occasion under pressure, and he can be awesome and have thousands of people cheering him on. That's how every pre-teen boy wants to see himself and have others see him. The same is true for comic book superheroes.
Once you get out of school, out into a job, etc., you have to BE the person you had the luxury of dreaming about being when you were a kid.
The older I get, the more I find I like the idea of baseball rather than actual baseball games themselves. To me baseball is leisure-- having three free hours to sit and listen to or watch an entire game, night after night, for an entire summer. Baseball is long stretches with not a whole lot going on, punctuated by moments of great excitement. Baseball is also appealing because deep down every kid knows he COULD be a baseball player. Baseball players come in all shapes and sizes. You don't have to be strong or fast or tall to be a good baseball player. You just have to be good at playing baseball.
Baseball season always winds down right around the time basketball pre-season is gearing up. So they're a perfect compliment for one another. Basketball is played indoors and is faster-paced. Basketball has more of a gritty, urban feel to it than baseball, which has more of an old-timey bucolic feel. Basketball games aren't on every night, just three or four times a week, easier to follow when life is busier. Unless it's a great game going into overtime, there's no danger of the game going on forever. Right as basketball season is winding down (the playoffs go on forever), baseball season is starting up again. By the time the NBA championships are over, the mid-season penant races are starting to heat up in baseball, and it's only a few weeks until the all-star game.
All this sounds great, but truth is, I rarely watch basketball (or baseball, for that matter) anymore. I used to follow the Lakers religiously when I was in high school. I knew not only all the players on the team, but on all the teams, especially the ones in the Pacific Division that the Lakers played five or six times a season. I wish I could get back into it, but I can't. I think, sadly, my days of enjoying watching basketball are behind me. I may catch a game now and then, but things will never be the way they once were. The reasons? Well:
1. I'm older than almost all the players in the NBA now. It's hard to look at the guys playing now the way I looked at Worthy and Scott, when I realize that most of them were born in the 1980s. Some of them now in the LATE 1980s.
2. I started working. Ever since I started working I've found it hard to get excited about the games. Priorities change and I'd usually rather be doing something else with the few spare hours I might have available after dinner every night. Part of it, I'll admit, is the realization of how much these guys are getting paid for what they do. I'm not saying they don't deserve it, but I am saying that I enjoy the games less knowing that these guys are all getting paid millions.
3. Chick Hearn died. A huge part of my enjoyment in watching the games was listening to Chick Hearn. Now that he's not announcing anymore it just isn't the same.
4. I moved. The local teams are fine, but I just can't get excited about them the way I could about the local teams when I was a kid. When the Celtics or Knicks are playing the Lakers my role is always as 'The guy from the visitor's city, who's rooting against the home team."
5. The players are too human. Goes hand in hand with being older than most of them. Though I could swear there are more thugs and criminals in the NBA now than there were 15 years ago. You would hear about certain players having run-ins with the law, but now it's much more in-your-face, widely reported, and probably just happens more often. There's more of a culture of being proud to be a thug that's infiltrated the NBA, that wasn't there before guys like Iverson and Spreewell came into the league.
6. I'm not a kid anymore. Really the most important thing. Sports are for kids. Period. You can enjoy the game as an adult, you can call yourself a fan, but the culture of being a fan, is for kids. Sports heroes are sports heroes because they're what a young guy fantasizes he can be like as a man in this world. He can do great things, he can rise to the occasion under pressure, and he can be awesome and have thousands of people cheering him on. That's how every pre-teen boy wants to see himself and have others see him. The same is true for comic book superheroes.
Once you get out of school, out into a job, etc., you have to BE the person you had the luxury of dreaming about being when you were a kid.
New Year's Resolutions
I can only think of four this year. I should probably have more, but I think these four are doable, and will all improve my quality of life in the long-run. On a side note, I can't believe it's going to be 2009. This will be the last year of the 20-oughts. Unbelievable.
Resolutions:
1. Phase out my clients in New York City and work only in Westchester. This would make my life so much easier. Going into the city all the time is such a hassle. I wanted to live and work outside of the city and I've only accomplished one of the two. I'm pretty sure, at this point, that I'm going to return to a school in the fall anyway. I didn't love working in a school but I see the benefits over doing what I'm doing now. Ultimately, if I stay in this field long enough, I'd like to end up in academia. But that opens up a whole other set of headaches that I don't want to deal with at this point.
2. Get rugs and curtains for the apartment. This sounds dumb and easy, I know, but it's something I really want to get done. We've been here since August and still have neither.
3. Start at least 18 books this year. That's about one book every three weeks. The last few years I've been starting about 10 books a year but only finishing one or two. I'm also going to have to set a limit of three weeks on a book I've started. If I'm not well on my way to finishing it after three weeks then it's time to move on. Hopefully this strategy will increase my total number of books read for 2009.
4. Buy nothing on credit. I'd like to go one full calendar year without buying anything on credit. I'm pretty sure the last year I did that was 1999. I'd like to put those days of having to rely on credit to get me through a tight month behind me.
So that's it. Like I said, I should probably come up with more. I could do more things with my wife, and I should probably drink less and exercise more but those things are hard to quantify.
Resolutions:
1. Phase out my clients in New York City and work only in Westchester. This would make my life so much easier. Going into the city all the time is such a hassle. I wanted to live and work outside of the city and I've only accomplished one of the two. I'm pretty sure, at this point, that I'm going to return to a school in the fall anyway. I didn't love working in a school but I see the benefits over doing what I'm doing now. Ultimately, if I stay in this field long enough, I'd like to end up in academia. But that opens up a whole other set of headaches that I don't want to deal with at this point.
2. Get rugs and curtains for the apartment. This sounds dumb and easy, I know, but it's something I really want to get done. We've been here since August and still have neither.
3. Start at least 18 books this year. That's about one book every three weeks. The last few years I've been starting about 10 books a year but only finishing one or two. I'm also going to have to set a limit of three weeks on a book I've started. If I'm not well on my way to finishing it after three weeks then it's time to move on. Hopefully this strategy will increase my total number of books read for 2009.
4. Buy nothing on credit. I'd like to go one full calendar year without buying anything on credit. I'm pretty sure the last year I did that was 1999. I'd like to put those days of having to rely on credit to get me through a tight month behind me.
So that's it. Like I said, I should probably come up with more. I could do more things with my wife, and I should probably drink less and exercise more but those things are hard to quantify.
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Schwarzenegger Speaking German
I always knew he could, but I'd never heard him until now:
What stands out to me is the fact that he DOES NOT CHANGE HIS ACCENT AT ALL when speaking German or English. I don't know if this is a conscious decision on his part, though somehow I suspect it might be. It also seems like he doesn't speak German much anymore, since he has some word-finding problems here and there. Also, notice how he refers to himself as Stadtsberger, but the caption says Gouverneur.
What stands out to me is the fact that he DOES NOT CHANGE HIS ACCENT AT ALL when speaking German or English. I don't know if this is a conscious decision on his part, though somehow I suspect it might be. It also seems like he doesn't speak German much anymore, since he has some word-finding problems here and there. Also, notice how he refers to himself as Stadtsberger, but the caption says Gouverneur.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Cold
It was cold today. When I woke up this morning it was in the teens, just below zero if you factor in the wind chill. The high today was around 25. I spent a lot of the day outside, traveling from one client's apartment to the next, killing time in between.
It snowed a lot on Friday and then again yesterday morning, so all that accumulated snow has turned to ice, making the roads and sidewalks very slippery.
Fortunately I like the cold. I can tolerate it well for someone who didn't grow up with it, but even I have my limits. When I lived in California I used to work with a guy who grew up in Duluth, Minnesota. He went back there for Christmas one year and when he came back he said the temperature was -40. After a certain point, I wondered, is there really any difference between the cold? Does -40 feel any different from 0? How could it?
He said it did feel different and tried to explain it to me but I didn't get it. After living in the northeast for four years, now I get what he was saying. This is how I'd best describe all ranges of temperatures. The following only apply to daytime highs, because 30 degrees in the morning of a day where it will get up into the 60s is an entirely different beast than 30 degrees at 2pm where the overnight low will be 5.
I'll start with hot and work down:
over 90 if it's dry, over 82 if it's real humid: too hot. Not comfortable. Just want to stay inside and turn on the air conditioner. Don't want to do anything active outside. Hope that it will cool down soon.
75-82 if humid, 80-90 if it's dry: comfortably hot. Doesn't feel oppressive. Can still do most things, don't hesitate to go out. Probably will be perfectly comfortable once the sun goes down.
65-75 if humid, 65-80 if dry: comfortably warm. Don't have to think about the weather. Can wear short sleeves and be fine.
50-65: perfect. This is temperature range at which I'm optimally comfortable. I'm not too hot and I'm not too cold. I can wear long pants, long sleeves and maybe a light sweater at the cool end and be perfectly fine. Being outside is not a problem.
35-50: comfortably cool. You definitely want to wear a coat of some kind and maybe a hat. As long as it's not windy you're fine. You can still do most outside stuff.
25-35: cold. This is the point where I start having to wear gloves and a scarf. I can be outside for a while but I don't usually want to stay out too long. If it's windy or very dry it can start to get uncomfortable.
5-25: Uncomfortably cold. This is the point where you really can't do much outside. If you have to be out you want to keep it to a minimum. It's not comfortable, but it is possible to be outside for a little bit.
-15 to +5: Forget about it. This is just too cold to do anything. This is the point where being outside, even just for a little bit can be painful. If your ears aren't covered they'll start stinging within a minute or two. If you don't have gloves on, your hands will start to feel like they're being stabbed with a thousand little sharp knives. Towards the lower end breathing comfortably starts to become n issue. All that cold air going straight into your lungs starts to hurt and your nose gets dry.
-15 is the coldest air temperature I've been in, but I've been in wind chills up to -30. I wouldn't say I have enough experience with that kind of cold to talk about it at length, just that the breathing issue gets more intense and things (like cars) start not working. Also, when it gets that cold, no matter if your house is insulated and has central heat, you can never really get warm, everything is saturated with cold.
It snowed a lot on Friday and then again yesterday morning, so all that accumulated snow has turned to ice, making the roads and sidewalks very slippery.
Fortunately I like the cold. I can tolerate it well for someone who didn't grow up with it, but even I have my limits. When I lived in California I used to work with a guy who grew up in Duluth, Minnesota. He went back there for Christmas one year and when he came back he said the temperature was -40. After a certain point, I wondered, is there really any difference between the cold? Does -40 feel any different from 0? How could it?
He said it did feel different and tried to explain it to me but I didn't get it. After living in the northeast for four years, now I get what he was saying. This is how I'd best describe all ranges of temperatures. The following only apply to daytime highs, because 30 degrees in the morning of a day where it will get up into the 60s is an entirely different beast than 30 degrees at 2pm where the overnight low will be 5.
I'll start with hot and work down:
over 90 if it's dry, over 82 if it's real humid: too hot. Not comfortable. Just want to stay inside and turn on the air conditioner. Don't want to do anything active outside. Hope that it will cool down soon.
75-82 if humid, 80-90 if it's dry: comfortably hot. Doesn't feel oppressive. Can still do most things, don't hesitate to go out. Probably will be perfectly comfortable once the sun goes down.
65-75 if humid, 65-80 if dry: comfortably warm. Don't have to think about the weather. Can wear short sleeves and be fine.
50-65: perfect. This is temperature range at which I'm optimally comfortable. I'm not too hot and I'm not too cold. I can wear long pants, long sleeves and maybe a light sweater at the cool end and be perfectly fine. Being outside is not a problem.
35-50: comfortably cool. You definitely want to wear a coat of some kind and maybe a hat. As long as it's not windy you're fine. You can still do most outside stuff.
25-35: cold. This is the point where I start having to wear gloves and a scarf. I can be outside for a while but I don't usually want to stay out too long. If it's windy or very dry it can start to get uncomfortable.
5-25: Uncomfortably cold. This is the point where you really can't do much outside. If you have to be out you want to keep it to a minimum. It's not comfortable, but it is possible to be outside for a little bit.
-15 to +5: Forget about it. This is just too cold to do anything. This is the point where being outside, even just for a little bit can be painful. If your ears aren't covered they'll start stinging within a minute or two. If you don't have gloves on, your hands will start to feel like they're being stabbed with a thousand little sharp knives. Towards the lower end breathing comfortably starts to become n issue. All that cold air going straight into your lungs starts to hurt and your nose gets dry.
-15 is the coldest air temperature I've been in, but I've been in wind chills up to -30. I wouldn't say I have enough experience with that kind of cold to talk about it at length, just that the breathing issue gets more intense and things (like cars) start not working. Also, when it gets that cold, no matter if your house is insulated and has central heat, you can never really get warm, everything is saturated with cold.
A Show I Don't Like
My wife and I have been to both locations of Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles restaurants in New York a couple of times. It's one of our default special occasion and taking-guests-from-out-of-town places. French food with an unassuming twist. Awesome Steak Frites for $19, traditional fare like escargot and foie gras if you're feeling adventurous, and probably the best creme brulee I've ever had anywhere. It's a great place. After one visit my wife offhandedly asked the waiter what Anthony Bourdain was really like. The waiter responded "He's great; he's a really cool guy."
Bobby Flay also has a couple of restaurants in the city. The only one I've been to is called Mesa Grill. It's pricey but the food is damn good. The signature dish is a pork tenderloin topped with a tangy chili sauce. The pork is super-tender, and even better, the sauce is SPICY. I love it when places aren't afraid to serve stuff hot like that. The margaritas at Mesa Grill are solid, and I had a Yucatecan tacos appetizer there once that I still think about from time to time. Again, after one of our meals there my wife asked the waiter what Bobby Flay was really like. "Oh, he's a dick," is what the waiter said.
And I can believe it. I've grown to really hate the show "Throwdown: with Bobby Flay". It's pretentious, it's pompous, it's just plain mean. The premise is that Bobby Flay sends a film crew out to some cook somewhere who's known for, usually, some kind of a regional speciality (ie, fried chicken, lasagna, crab cakes) under the guise that they're being profiled for the Food Network. Then, right in the middle, Bobby and his freakish red hair jump out and everyone's supposed to be blown away that it's really him (it's really funny to see when the people obviously don't know who he is), at which point Bobby challenges them to a "throwdown".
The throwdown consists of Bobby and the regional cook having a contest to see who can make the better (fill in the blank). Of course, Bobby is a world-class chef and has a crew of people working for him. Bobby is able to spare no expense, whereas the local cooks have undoubtedly been under pressure to perfect their specific dishes so that they're not only tasty but also cost-effective to mass produce and serve in their restaurants. It really bothers me that this point is never acknowledged by the show.
The worst part is the judging, where usually they get some renowned food critic and then just some fat local guy who likes to eat a lot of whatever the throwdown dish is. The judging always goes something like this: "Well, Dish A is really, really good. In fact, it's amazing. The ingredients are so fresh, are those Montenegran truffles I taste? And Dish B, well, when I think of real authentic, home-made ___ this is what I think of", which is just a nice of saying "Oh my God, Bobby Flay's food is incredible and gourmet, and the local's stuff tastes like good local stuff."
Bobby Flay's food clearly always tastes better as a result of all his advantages, not the least of which is that he's simply a great cook. The locals "win" about half the time, I think, because the judges just feel bad for them. It's disheartening to see a couple of grandmas from Munclon, Maine, who've been making chocolate-chip cookies for 45 years lose a cookie baking contest to a jerk like Bobby Flay. I'm half expecting the next throwdown to be at a lemonade stand, where Bobby wipes the floor with a couple of 8 year-old kids. Chili-chipotle lime-ade from Bobby is what I'm putting my money on.
The one time I did enjoy watching the show was the one where the throwdown ingredient was Chicago-style deep dish pizza. The competitor was clearly just as a big a jerk as Bobby is, and was riding him and insulting New York pizza the whole time. Not in a facetious, playful way, but in a pretty mean-spirited way. You could tell Bobby Flay was pissed. I had to watch it to the end, though, because I knew I'd enjoy watching either one of them lose.
Bobby Flay also has a couple of restaurants in the city. The only one I've been to is called Mesa Grill. It's pricey but the food is damn good. The signature dish is a pork tenderloin topped with a tangy chili sauce. The pork is super-tender, and even better, the sauce is SPICY. I love it when places aren't afraid to serve stuff hot like that. The margaritas at Mesa Grill are solid, and I had a Yucatecan tacos appetizer there once that I still think about from time to time. Again, after one of our meals there my wife asked the waiter what Bobby Flay was really like. "Oh, he's a dick," is what the waiter said.
And I can believe it. I've grown to really hate the show "Throwdown: with Bobby Flay". It's pretentious, it's pompous, it's just plain mean. The premise is that Bobby Flay sends a film crew out to some cook somewhere who's known for, usually, some kind of a regional speciality (ie, fried chicken, lasagna, crab cakes) under the guise that they're being profiled for the Food Network. Then, right in the middle, Bobby and his freakish red hair jump out and everyone's supposed to be blown away that it's really him (it's really funny to see when the people obviously don't know who he is), at which point Bobby challenges them to a "throwdown".
The throwdown consists of Bobby and the regional cook having a contest to see who can make the better (fill in the blank). Of course, Bobby is a world-class chef and has a crew of people working for him. Bobby is able to spare no expense, whereas the local cooks have undoubtedly been under pressure to perfect their specific dishes so that they're not only tasty but also cost-effective to mass produce and serve in their restaurants. It really bothers me that this point is never acknowledged by the show.
The worst part is the judging, where usually they get some renowned food critic and then just some fat local guy who likes to eat a lot of whatever the throwdown dish is. The judging always goes something like this: "Well, Dish A is really, really good. In fact, it's amazing. The ingredients are so fresh, are those Montenegran truffles I taste? And Dish B, well, when I think of real authentic, home-made ___ this is what I think of", which is just a nice of saying "Oh my God, Bobby Flay's food is incredible and gourmet, and the local's stuff tastes like good local stuff."
Bobby Flay's food clearly always tastes better as a result of all his advantages, not the least of which is that he's simply a great cook. The locals "win" about half the time, I think, because the judges just feel bad for them. It's disheartening to see a couple of grandmas from Munclon, Maine, who've been making chocolate-chip cookies for 45 years lose a cookie baking contest to a jerk like Bobby Flay. I'm half expecting the next throwdown to be at a lemonade stand, where Bobby wipes the floor with a couple of 8 year-old kids. Chili-chipotle lime-ade from Bobby is what I'm putting my money on.
The one time I did enjoy watching the show was the one where the throwdown ingredient was Chicago-style deep dish pizza. The competitor was clearly just as a big a jerk as Bobby is, and was riding him and insulting New York pizza the whole time. Not in a facetious, playful way, but in a pretty mean-spirited way. You could tell Bobby Flay was pissed. I had to watch it to the end, though, because I knew I'd enjoy watching either one of them lose.
Saturday, December 20, 2008
Physical Anthropology Quiz
Match the soccer player with his country of origin:
The countries are:
-England
-Netherlands
-Italy
-Sweden
-Poland
-Ukraine
-Greece
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
The countries are:
-England
-Netherlands
-Italy
-Sweden
-Poland
-Ukraine
-Greece
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Friday, December 19, 2008
In the Name of Allah, Most Gracious, Most Merciful
I give you Mr. Cat Stevens:
Not many people realize that he wrote this song and that his version is the original one. Rod Stewart's version sucks. Sheryl Crow's shrill version is suckier. This is the only version that makes me realize what a great song it really is.
Not many people realize that he wrote this song and that his version is the original one. Rod Stewart's version sucks. Sheryl Crow's shrill version is suckier. This is the only version that makes me realize what a great song it really is.
If My Life Since High School Were a Book
I think I'd be on Chapter 10 right now. Here's how I would divide it up:
Chapter 1- Post high school. The time immediately after I graduated when I wasn't going to school but was working at the restaurant and the toy store. This is the time during which I met Sara and learned how to drive.
Chapter 2- Working at the Library. Working at the library and going to Fullerton. During these years I switched majors from History to Anthtopology and then almost to Linguistics.
Chapter 3- Going to London. This is when I went to London. It was such a cool experience it gets its own chapter.
Chapter 4- Post-London. Getting back to my real life. Finishing up at Fullerton and working at the botanical garden and the bookstore in Pasadena.
Chapter 5- Doing Jack Crap. After I graduated from Fullerton, going up to Seattle and back a few times, working at the veterinary clinic. I got a bad case of bronchitis during this time that I think was directly related to being so stagnant with my life.
Chapter 6- Extended time in Seattle. I went back up to Seattle and spent an extended period of time there. It was while I was there that I decided to go back to school, get a Master's, and train for a real career.
Chapter 7- Getting my post-bacc. I went back to Fullerton and got my post-bacc in speech path. During this time I also worked at the Huntington.
Chapter 8- Going to U Mass. After I finished my post-bacc I went to U Mass and moved to the east coast.
Chapter 9- Living in Manhattan. I lived in New York like a big jerk for the first few years out of grad school.
Chapter 10- Now. I'm living in Westchester, I'm married, and I'm trying to figure out where to go with my career. My mind is occupied with things like buying a house and deciding whether or not to have children.
Hopefully there will be many more chapters yet to come, and hopefully they will be as relatively tranquil as the ones that have come before them.
Chapter 1- Post high school. The time immediately after I graduated when I wasn't going to school but was working at the restaurant and the toy store. This is the time during which I met Sara and learned how to drive.
Chapter 2- Working at the Library. Working at the library and going to Fullerton. During these years I switched majors from History to Anthtopology and then almost to Linguistics.
Chapter 3- Going to London. This is when I went to London. It was such a cool experience it gets its own chapter.
Chapter 4- Post-London. Getting back to my real life. Finishing up at Fullerton and working at the botanical garden and the bookstore in Pasadena.
Chapter 5- Doing Jack Crap. After I graduated from Fullerton, going up to Seattle and back a few times, working at the veterinary clinic. I got a bad case of bronchitis during this time that I think was directly related to being so stagnant with my life.
Chapter 6- Extended time in Seattle. I went back up to Seattle and spent an extended period of time there. It was while I was there that I decided to go back to school, get a Master's, and train for a real career.
Chapter 7- Getting my post-bacc. I went back to Fullerton and got my post-bacc in speech path. During this time I also worked at the Huntington.
Chapter 8- Going to U Mass. After I finished my post-bacc I went to U Mass and moved to the east coast.
Chapter 9- Living in Manhattan. I lived in New York like a big jerk for the first few years out of grad school.
Chapter 10- Now. I'm living in Westchester, I'm married, and I'm trying to figure out where to go with my career. My mind is occupied with things like buying a house and deciding whether or not to have children.
Hopefully there will be many more chapters yet to come, and hopefully they will be as relatively tranquil as the ones that have come before them.
What I Remember About High School
If I really stopped and thought about it I could probably recreate my class schedule for each year, but I'm really more interested in what's on the surface-- readily available-- what sticks out the most. I'm purposely not trying to think about it too much, just what pops into my head.
I realize this will mean nothing to anyone but Bryan and Brendan. If you're not one of those people then it's your fault that you didn't go to high school with me.
Freshman year- Shanks in the morning. Shaw as well. Videos in Shaw's class about self-esteem. Having to write reports for Shaw's class that were somewhat challenging and satisfying to complete. Spanish with Andrade in the afternoon. Reading Amalia and writing out all those conjugations. Typing with Barnhart-- and his poster of Patrick Swayze on the wall.
Sophomore year- Beeken, obviously. Reading "The Jungle". Benoit's class. Uhh... Wow. Not remembering much of that year.
Junior year- Shanks again. She had given up on teaching and was just showing us videos that we used to make fun of. Silvey's class-- goofing off, mostly making jokes about "The Man".
Senior year- Proach and Cimino in the morning. I had Benoit again, a retread of sophomore year English. Journalism with Kinzler. Anatomy with Coach Brancheau.
For some reason I can more easily remember morning classes.
About the time in my life overall:
-Playing a lot of guitar. Listening to a lot of REM. Listening to a lot of KABC and KFI. Watching, I think, every single Lakers game played from 1989-1993. Watching or listening to every Dodgers game from 1989-1993. Catching the occasional Angels game. Playing basketball in the backyard every single afternoon and still sucking at it by the time I graduated. Watching a lot of Comedy Central. Reading a lot of Steinbeck, Dave Barry, and whatever edgy thing I could find in the book section at Tower Records. Playing a lot of baseball with my brother. Going to track practice and trying to talk to every single girl on the team and getting absolutely nowhere with any of them.
Man, I'm glad that's all over.
I realize this will mean nothing to anyone but Bryan and Brendan. If you're not one of those people then it's your fault that you didn't go to high school with me.
Freshman year- Shanks in the morning. Shaw as well. Videos in Shaw's class about self-esteem. Having to write reports for Shaw's class that were somewhat challenging and satisfying to complete. Spanish with Andrade in the afternoon. Reading Amalia and writing out all those conjugations. Typing with Barnhart-- and his poster of Patrick Swayze on the wall.
Sophomore year- Beeken, obviously. Reading "The Jungle". Benoit's class. Uhh... Wow. Not remembering much of that year.
Junior year- Shanks again. She had given up on teaching and was just showing us videos that we used to make fun of. Silvey's class-- goofing off, mostly making jokes about "The Man".
Senior year- Proach and Cimino in the morning. I had Benoit again, a retread of sophomore year English. Journalism with Kinzler. Anatomy with Coach Brancheau.
For some reason I can more easily remember morning classes.
About the time in my life overall:
-Playing a lot of guitar. Listening to a lot of REM. Listening to a lot of KABC and KFI. Watching, I think, every single Lakers game played from 1989-1993. Watching or listening to every Dodgers game from 1989-1993. Catching the occasional Angels game. Playing basketball in the backyard every single afternoon and still sucking at it by the time I graduated. Watching a lot of Comedy Central. Reading a lot of Steinbeck, Dave Barry, and whatever edgy thing I could find in the book section at Tower Records. Playing a lot of baseball with my brother. Going to track practice and trying to talk to every single girl on the team and getting absolutely nowhere with any of them.
Man, I'm glad that's all over.
Hello Americans, I'm Paul Harvey...
Johan Maurits Sjoman Laaksonen was born in Pori, Finland in 1862. He was from a Finlandsvenskar family, which basically means "Swedish-speaking Finn", indicating that his family had originally come to Finland from Sweden, most likely sometime in the Middle Ages, when Finland was just one state in the Kingdom of Sweden, along with places like Estonia and Karelia (which is now a part of Russia). Socially conscious, upwardly mobile Finns of the time (especially Finlandsvenskarren) often gave their children German-sounding first names because they believed they sounded more educated and sophisticated (take for example: "Heinrich" versus "Jukka").
Johan had a sense of adventure and when he was old enough he left Finland and went to London. He joined the British Navy and spent most of the 1880s and 1890s working on a ship and traveling all over the world, going to places like Hong Kong and Sri Lanka, places most people from Finland had barely even heard of, much less ever travelled to. Johan eventually anglicized his name to John Lakson, and around 1895, during an extended stay in New York City met and fell in love with a tall copper-haired woman named Marie. Marie was also from Finland, though not from the west coast as John was. She was part Lapp (or Saami if you want to be politically correct) and for generations her family had worked as reindeer herders and cod fishermen on the frozen tundra and between the craggy fjords on the northernmost part of the continent of Europe.
John and Marie married and decided to stay in the U.S. John had once traveled to Portland, Oregon when he was in the navy and was fond of the place, because the evergreen forests and abundant lakes and rivers reminded him of where he grew up. The couple eventually settled in the town of Amboy, Washington, just north of Portland. Amboy had, at the time, a thriving Finnish community. Daily conversations and business transactions around town were conducted mostly in Finnish, sometimes in Swedish, and just about never in English.
John and Marie had three chidren. A son, John Jr., was born in 1898. A daughter, Marie, was born in 1902, and a second daughter named Mildred was born in 1906.
Now, at this point you may be wondering what all this has to do with anything, but here's where 'the rest of the story' comes in to play. The youngest daughter Mildred graduated from high school in 1924, married her high school sweetheart and moved to Los Angeles. They had no children together. When World War II broke out, Mildred's husband enlisted, and never returned.
Mildred remarried several years later though and that one marriage, later in life did produce one son named Bobby. Bob (as he is called as an adult), in turn, married a woman named Hope, which led to many jokes over the years. Bob and Hope had a girl, born in 1971, and though they almost named her Deirdre, at the last minute they decided to name her Heather. Four years later Bob and Hope had another baby. This time it was a boy. When trying to decide on what to name him, Bob said "Let's name him after my grandfather-- John".
The lives of all those mentioned above would have been quite different, if nonexistent had John Lakson not decided to move to London as a young man. But most importantly, if he hadn't moved to England, he might not have ever changed his name to John.
Somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, in a nether-region of time and space, there's a guy out there who looks just like me. And the poor bastard's name is Johan.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Johan had a sense of adventure and when he was old enough he left Finland and went to London. He joined the British Navy and spent most of the 1880s and 1890s working on a ship and traveling all over the world, going to places like Hong Kong and Sri Lanka, places most people from Finland had barely even heard of, much less ever travelled to. Johan eventually anglicized his name to John Lakson, and around 1895, during an extended stay in New York City met and fell in love with a tall copper-haired woman named Marie. Marie was also from Finland, though not from the west coast as John was. She was part Lapp (or Saami if you want to be politically correct) and for generations her family had worked as reindeer herders and cod fishermen on the frozen tundra and between the craggy fjords on the northernmost part of the continent of Europe.
John and Marie married and decided to stay in the U.S. John had once traveled to Portland, Oregon when he was in the navy and was fond of the place, because the evergreen forests and abundant lakes and rivers reminded him of where he grew up. The couple eventually settled in the town of Amboy, Washington, just north of Portland. Amboy had, at the time, a thriving Finnish community. Daily conversations and business transactions around town were conducted mostly in Finnish, sometimes in Swedish, and just about never in English.
John and Marie had three chidren. A son, John Jr., was born in 1898. A daughter, Marie, was born in 1902, and a second daughter named Mildred was born in 1906.
Now, at this point you may be wondering what all this has to do with anything, but here's where 'the rest of the story' comes in to play. The youngest daughter Mildred graduated from high school in 1924, married her high school sweetheart and moved to Los Angeles. They had no children together. When World War II broke out, Mildred's husband enlisted, and never returned.
Mildred remarried several years later though and that one marriage, later in life did produce one son named Bobby. Bob (as he is called as an adult), in turn, married a woman named Hope, which led to many jokes over the years. Bob and Hope had a girl, born in 1971, and though they almost named her Deirdre, at the last minute they decided to name her Heather. Four years later Bob and Hope had another baby. This time it was a boy. When trying to decide on what to name him, Bob said "Let's name him after my grandfather-- John".
The lives of all those mentioned above would have been quite different, if nonexistent had John Lakson not decided to move to London as a young man. But most importantly, if he hadn't moved to England, he might not have ever changed his name to John.
Somewhere out there, in an alternate universe, in a nether-region of time and space, there's a guy out there who looks just like me. And the poor bastard's name is Johan.
And now you know the rest of the story.
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Ebert's Best Movies of 2008
He lists a total of 26. For me, each falls into one of four categories:
Movies I've Seen:
1. Encounters at the End of the World- Saw it over the summer and liked it well enough, but didn't think it was up there with some of Herzog's other efforts.
Never Heard of and Don't Care About Seeing:
1. Ballast- Sounds like another Eve's Bayou.
2. The Band's Visit- a cross-cultural comedy of manners in the Middle East. Sounds like a riot. I'm guessing everyone ends up dead at the end.
3. Chop Shop- If I want to watch poor people in New York for two hours, all I have to do is take public transportation into work.
4. Frozen River- Sounds like it's basically the same movie as "Chop Shop".
5. Happy-Go-Lucky- Another charmer from Mike Leigh, to make you want to slash your wrists on Christmas Day.
6. Shotgun Stories- Inter-familial rivalry and class rivalry, all at the same time. I CAN wait.
7. Slumdog Millionaire- brought to you buy the same folks who made "A Life Less Ordinary".
8. Standard Operating Procedure- As if fiction isn't always depressing enough on its own, here's a documentary to make you feel awful about the world.
9. Trouble the Water- A documentary about Hurricane Katrina. Enough said.
Heard of But Don't Want to See:
1. Che- Why anyone gives a rat's ass about this guy is beyond me. Plus, the film is 47 and a half hours long. First we had to live with "The Motorcycle Diaries", and now this?
2. Doubt- Yes, exactly. The ads make this movie look so incredibly goofy. I'm guessing it's about a group of actors who go to a Halloween party, and then start yelling dramatically when they arrive and realize they all dressed up the same.
3. Frost/Nixon- Maybe it's good, but it just doesn't seem like an interesting premise for a film.
4. Rachel Getting Married- Umyeahno.
5. Milk- See "Frost/Nixon"
6. The Reader- Should be called "The Snoozer"
7. Revolutionary Road- The suburbs are horrible, blah blah blah. And the boat sinks at the end.
8. W.- If I want to watch George Bush screwing up the country all I have to do is turn on the news. Plus, after JFK, Oliver Stone should not be trusted to make movies about "real" people and events.
9. Wall-E- Something about these Dreamworks movies rub me the wrong way. I feel like I'm being sold the same thing over and over again, just in different packaging.
Heard of and Want to See:
1. The Dark Knight- I keep hearing how good it is, and I believe it.
2. The Fall- Sounds original and worth seeing. If it's from the guy who directed the video for "Losing My Religion" it'll probably be nice to look at.
3. Iron Man- See "The Dark Knight"
4. Synecdoche, NY- Kauffman always does stuff that's interesting.
5. My Winnipeg- I wanted to see this when it was playing at the Tribeca Film Festival, but we couldn't get tickets. Quirky pseudo-documentary about a cold place. Sounds right up my alley.
6. I.O.U.S.A.- Don't know if I REALLY want to see it, but I'm hoping that if I do it will motivate me to never buy anything on credit ever again.
7. Man on Wire- Wanted to see it when it was out but never got around to it. The guy did something that I could never, ever, in a million years, even contemplate doing.
Movies I've Seen:
1. Encounters at the End of the World- Saw it over the summer and liked it well enough, but didn't think it was up there with some of Herzog's other efforts.
Never Heard of and Don't Care About Seeing:
1. Ballast- Sounds like another Eve's Bayou.
2. The Band's Visit- a cross-cultural comedy of manners in the Middle East. Sounds like a riot. I'm guessing everyone ends up dead at the end.
3. Chop Shop- If I want to watch poor people in New York for two hours, all I have to do is take public transportation into work.
4. Frozen River- Sounds like it's basically the same movie as "Chop Shop".
5. Happy-Go-Lucky- Another charmer from Mike Leigh, to make you want to slash your wrists on Christmas Day.
6. Shotgun Stories- Inter-familial rivalry and class rivalry, all at the same time. I CAN wait.
7. Slumdog Millionaire- brought to you buy the same folks who made "A Life Less Ordinary".
8. Standard Operating Procedure- As if fiction isn't always depressing enough on its own, here's a documentary to make you feel awful about the world.
9. Trouble the Water- A documentary about Hurricane Katrina. Enough said.
Heard of But Don't Want to See:
1. Che- Why anyone gives a rat's ass about this guy is beyond me. Plus, the film is 47 and a half hours long. First we had to live with "The Motorcycle Diaries", and now this?
2. Doubt- Yes, exactly. The ads make this movie look so incredibly goofy. I'm guessing it's about a group of actors who go to a Halloween party, and then start yelling dramatically when they arrive and realize they all dressed up the same.
3. Frost/Nixon- Maybe it's good, but it just doesn't seem like an interesting premise for a film.
4. Rachel Getting Married- Umyeahno.
5. Milk- See "Frost/Nixon"
6. The Reader- Should be called "The Snoozer"
7. Revolutionary Road- The suburbs are horrible, blah blah blah. And the boat sinks at the end.
8. W.- If I want to watch George Bush screwing up the country all I have to do is turn on the news. Plus, after JFK, Oliver Stone should not be trusted to make movies about "real" people and events.
9. Wall-E- Something about these Dreamworks movies rub me the wrong way. I feel like I'm being sold the same thing over and over again, just in different packaging.
Heard of and Want to See:
1. The Dark Knight- I keep hearing how good it is, and I believe it.
2. The Fall- Sounds original and worth seeing. If it's from the guy who directed the video for "Losing My Religion" it'll probably be nice to look at.
3. Iron Man- See "The Dark Knight"
4. Synecdoche, NY- Kauffman always does stuff that's interesting.
5. My Winnipeg- I wanted to see this when it was playing at the Tribeca Film Festival, but we couldn't get tickets. Quirky pseudo-documentary about a cold place. Sounds right up my alley.
6. I.O.U.S.A.- Don't know if I REALLY want to see it, but I'm hoping that if I do it will motivate me to never buy anything on credit ever again.
7. Man on Wire- Wanted to see it when it was out but never got around to it. The guy did something that I could never, ever, in a million years, even contemplate doing.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
70s Wonderfulness
This song and video perfectly capture the decade of the 1970s for me. Or at least my perception of it. The disco beat, the afro, the mirrored walls. You get the impression this guy went straight to Studio 54 after wrapping and spent the next ten years nursing a cocaine habit:
Tuesday, December 9, 2008
California ,There I Went
Certain people who shall remain nameless are insinuating that I'm being a big jerk because I like to talk about going into New York all the time. Little do they know that I'm a big jerk for completely different reasons. Actually, I want to even the playing field a little bit by talking about my recent trip to Southern California. I've been away for a little over four years now and here is my updated take on the place with what hits me most:
1) The weather is usually pretty nice. Even when it's hot and dry at least it's not humid. I do wish the place were greener, but especially when I've been back there between the months of November and April the weather is always very comfortable.
2) It's a lot more laid-back than New York. In general, of course, there are exceptions. This fits my personality well. I come off as kind of a slacker in New York, I can tell. Whereas I generally came of pretty hard-working in California. In New York there's an expectation that you're going to get more work done in less time. People in California work hard too, but there seems to be a different value ascribed to it.
3) The San Gabriel Mountains are nice to look at. When you can see them, of course.
4) The Mexican food and burgers are so much better than what you can find on the east coast.
5) Pasadena is still one of my favorite places ever.
6) If I moved back I would probably get sick of it again after about six months.
Sorry for that last one but it's important to be truthful about such things. I actually like Southern California more now than I used to. I like having it be a place I can visit now and then, and the wife likes it a lot too. But as far as day to day life goes, at this point, I need cold weather to keep me going. Maybe when I'm ready to retire I'll feel differently.
1) The weather is usually pretty nice. Even when it's hot and dry at least it's not humid. I do wish the place were greener, but especially when I've been back there between the months of November and April the weather is always very comfortable.
2) It's a lot more laid-back than New York. In general, of course, there are exceptions. This fits my personality well. I come off as kind of a slacker in New York, I can tell. Whereas I generally came of pretty hard-working in California. In New York there's an expectation that you're going to get more work done in less time. People in California work hard too, but there seems to be a different value ascribed to it.
3) The San Gabriel Mountains are nice to look at. When you can see them, of course.
4) The Mexican food and burgers are so much better than what you can find on the east coast.
5) Pasadena is still one of my favorite places ever.
6) If I moved back I would probably get sick of it again after about six months.
Sorry for that last one but it's important to be truthful about such things. I actually like Southern California more now than I used to. I like having it be a place I can visit now and then, and the wife likes it a lot too. But as far as day to day life goes, at this point, I need cold weather to keep me going. Maybe when I'm ready to retire I'll feel differently.
5 Hour Walk
This past Sunday, just for kicks, my cousin Ben and I walked the entire length of the island of Manhattan. The whole trip was about 15 or 16 miles, and it took us exactly 5 hours and 5 minutes to walk from Marble Hill to Battery Park. We only stopped once, at my sister-in-law's place on 83rd, and that was only for about 10 minutes.
Some of the things we walked past:
1) The Dyckman House-- the oldest Dutch farmhouse in Manhattan still standing (and presumably about the only one). Very anachronistic to see a house like that set between modern apartment buildings and across the street from a Rite Aid.
2) Trinity Cemetery at 155th st.-- Where a lot of people are buried, including Clement Moore, the author of "Twas the Night Before Christmas", who incidentally, used to teach at Columbia.
3) Columbia University
4) Tom's Restaurant-- the side of which was made famous as a bumper in "Seinfeld" (The neon sign that just says "Restaurant" that we've all seen a million times on TV).
5) The Ed Sullivan Theater-- where Letterman does his show.
6) Times Square, of course.
7) Madison Square Park, which borders the Metropolitan Life Insurance Building and the Flatiron Building-- both early skyscrapers.
8) Union Square
9) City Hall
10) St. Paul's Chapel-- with Ground Zero right behind it-- still nothing has been built yet.
11) Trinity Church-- where Alexander Hamilton is buried, right across from Federal Hall and the NY Stock Exchange.
12) The Bowling Green-- Where Peter Stuyvesant used to practice his lawn bowling.
13) Battery Park-- offering views of The Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, and the harbor.
And about a million other things.
Biggest Surprises:
1) The sense of continuity it gives you is really worth it. To see how neighborhoods change and fade into one another.
2) There is an awful lot way up north-- I tend to think of 125th street as way uptown, but we actually started on 225th street and walked for over an hour before we even got into Harlem.
3) All the pedestrian traffic in Midtown really slowed us down.
4) It wasn't really that hard. Sure it took a while, and my legs were sore the next day, but all in all, we weren't exactly exhausted by the time we got to Battery Park.
Some of the things we walked past:
1) The Dyckman House-- the oldest Dutch farmhouse in Manhattan still standing (and presumably about the only one). Very anachronistic to see a house like that set between modern apartment buildings and across the street from a Rite Aid.
2) Trinity Cemetery at 155th st.-- Where a lot of people are buried, including Clement Moore, the author of "Twas the Night Before Christmas", who incidentally, used to teach at Columbia.
3) Columbia University
4) Tom's Restaurant-- the side of which was made famous as a bumper in "Seinfeld" (The neon sign that just says "Restaurant" that we've all seen a million times on TV).
5) The Ed Sullivan Theater-- where Letterman does his show.
6) Times Square, of course.
7) Madison Square Park, which borders the Metropolitan Life Insurance Building and the Flatiron Building-- both early skyscrapers.
8) Union Square
9) City Hall
10) St. Paul's Chapel-- with Ground Zero right behind it-- still nothing has been built yet.
11) Trinity Church-- where Alexander Hamilton is buried, right across from Federal Hall and the NY Stock Exchange.
12) The Bowling Green-- Where Peter Stuyvesant used to practice his lawn bowling.
13) Battery Park-- offering views of The Statue of Liberty, Ellis Island, and the harbor.
And about a million other things.
Biggest Surprises:
1) The sense of continuity it gives you is really worth it. To see how neighborhoods change and fade into one another.
2) There is an awful lot way up north-- I tend to think of 125th street as way uptown, but we actually started on 225th street and walked for over an hour before we even got into Harlem.
3) All the pedestrian traffic in Midtown really slowed us down.
4) It wasn't really that hard. Sure it took a while, and my legs were sore the next day, but all in all, we weren't exactly exhausted by the time we got to Battery Park.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Movie Update
Tropic Thunder: 2/4 stars
Didn't quite do it for me despite some funny scenes. I usually find Ben Stiller hilarious but his role in this one is pretty weak. The film never finds the right tone either. It starts out seeming like it's going to be unique and original but it gets real cliched and almost hokey towards the end. Jack Black is barely in it and one of the supporting actors is really annoying. Disappointing.
Didn't quite do it for me despite some funny scenes. I usually find Ben Stiller hilarious but his role in this one is pretty weak. The film never finds the right tone either. It starts out seeming like it's going to be unique and original but it gets real cliched and almost hokey towards the end. Jack Black is barely in it and one of the supporting actors is really annoying. Disappointing.
Friday, December 5, 2008
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Say Hi to your Mother for me
On Thanksgiving morning I flew from Newark to Chicago and then on to Orange County. On the flight to Chicago I sat next to a friendly woman, probably about 50, who I could tell wanted to chat. Since I'd gotten up at 3:30 that morning about all I could think about was wanting to get some sleep and didn't really feel like talking. Usually in situations like this I'm very friendly to the person but try not to do anything that could keep a conversation going.
I'm not a particularly nervous flyer but I do have a hard time falling asleep on planes for some reason, so I took out my biography of Steve Martin that I've been reading. Long story short, talking the book out led to the woman making a comment about it, which then led to her telling me that she and her husband run a farm in New Jersey, just outside of New York City, and that their animals are often used for films and TV shows in the New York area. She said that whenever you see a llama on 'Saturday Night Live' (as you often do in the background, whenever Lorne Michaels is on camera, along with showgirls) that it is her llama. She said she also provided the animals for the Mark Wahlberg talks to animals skit (the donkey was hers) and that a lot of the Brian Fellow skits with Tracy Morgan used animals from her farm as well.
I can't say that I found it totally interesting but I thought it was kind of neat to meet her and talk to her, all the more so because she was such a nice person. I had no reason to believe she was lying because I'm not sure why you'd lie about something like that, and she had kind of a zookeeper, animal wrangler, outdoorsy look to her.
I did ask her the one question that popped into my mind as I was talking to her: How do you get a donkey into Rockefeller Center? She said the donkey fits into the back of her van and that they just drive in, park underneath the building, and the donkey goes up to the studio in the freight elevator.
Sounds good to me. Her destination was Chicago, and when she left I told her I'd keep an eye out for any animals on the show.
I'm not a particularly nervous flyer but I do have a hard time falling asleep on planes for some reason, so I took out my biography of Steve Martin that I've been reading. Long story short, talking the book out led to the woman making a comment about it, which then led to her telling me that she and her husband run a farm in New Jersey, just outside of New York City, and that their animals are often used for films and TV shows in the New York area. She said that whenever you see a llama on 'Saturday Night Live' (as you often do in the background, whenever Lorne Michaels is on camera, along with showgirls) that it is her llama. She said she also provided the animals for the Mark Wahlberg talks to animals skit (the donkey was hers) and that a lot of the Brian Fellow skits with Tracy Morgan used animals from her farm as well.
I can't say that I found it totally interesting but I thought it was kind of neat to meet her and talk to her, all the more so because she was such a nice person. I had no reason to believe she was lying because I'm not sure why you'd lie about something like that, and she had kind of a zookeeper, animal wrangler, outdoorsy look to her.
I did ask her the one question that popped into my mind as I was talking to her: How do you get a donkey into Rockefeller Center? She said the donkey fits into the back of her van and that they just drive in, park underneath the building, and the donkey goes up to the studio in the freight elevator.
Sounds good to me. Her destination was Chicago, and when she left I told her I'd keep an eye out for any animals on the show.
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
People are Getting Taller
Vince Vaughn and John Cleese are 6’5”
Penn Jillette and Ryan Stiles are 6’6”
Tony Robbins and Krist Novoselic are 6’7”
Brad Garrett is 6’8”
Until very recently Michael Crichton was 6’9”
And Randy Johnson is 6’10”
I spend a good part of my working day walking between homes in New York City. Therefore, I walk past a lot of people. I'd say at least once a day I walk past a woman who is well over six feet tall and a high school-aged kid who is at least 6'6". I'm an inch taller than my father, who was seven inches taller than his own father. If I have any sons they'll probably be taller than me since both my wife's father and brother are taller than I am.
Penn Jillette and Ryan Stiles are 6’6”
Tony Robbins and Krist Novoselic are 6’7”
Brad Garrett is 6’8”
Until very recently Michael Crichton was 6’9”
And Randy Johnson is 6’10”
I spend a good part of my working day walking between homes in New York City. Therefore, I walk past a lot of people. I'd say at least once a day I walk past a woman who is well over six feet tall and a high school-aged kid who is at least 6'6". I'm an inch taller than my father, who was seven inches taller than his own father. If I have any sons they'll probably be taller than me since both my wife's father and brother are taller than I am.
Monday, November 17, 2008
5 Ways New York City is like Disneyland
1. It’s always crowded.
2. Anything you buy is twice as expensive as it is in the outside world.
3. It’s an artificial, man-made environment. Many parts (Central Park, Rivers of America) are fake, but great lengths have taken to make them look natural.
4. Many people possess a fanatical adoration of the place. These people are all really annoying.
5. You see a tremendous cross-section of humanity there—(the disabled, people of all different nationalities).
2. Anything you buy is twice as expensive as it is in the outside world.
3. It’s an artificial, man-made environment. Many parts (Central Park, Rivers of America) are fake, but great lengths have taken to make them look natural.
4. Many people possess a fanatical adoration of the place. These people are all really annoying.
5. You see a tremendous cross-section of humanity there—(the disabled, people of all different nationalities).
Dr. Drew
In keeping with the theme of my learning everything about life by watching it on TV, I'm going to forward the argument that Dr. Drew is a good professional role model. I find that when I need to discuss something difficult with a client's parent, or when I'm in a situation where I need to sound like I know what I'm talking about, channeling Dr. Drew always helps:
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Oswald Acted Alone
Full Article Here
Greatest hits:
"A team of experts assembled by the Discovery Channel has recreated the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Using modern blood spatter analysis, new artificial human body surrogates, and 3-D computer simulations, the team determined that the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository was the most likely origin of the shot that killed the 35th president of the United States."
and
"Schliebe, along with Tom Bevel, an independent expert forensic investigator, were brought in to examine the simulated crime scene. Both scientists had no idea what the experiment was for or that it was a reenactment of the JFK assassination."
and
""We might never know if Oswald pulled the trigger, but when you look at the wind pattern, the spread of the debris, the angles and distances involved, it's consistent with a shot from the sixth floor depository," said Martin."
and finally
""I think this is the wave of the future," said Martin. "If we had this technology back in the '60s, I think it would have put a lot of the conspiracy theories to rest.""
Greatest hits:
"A team of experts assembled by the Discovery Channel has recreated the assassination of John Fitzgerald Kennedy. Using modern blood spatter analysis, new artificial human body surrogates, and 3-D computer simulations, the team determined that the sixth floor of the Texas School Book Depository was the most likely origin of the shot that killed the 35th president of the United States."
and
"Schliebe, along with Tom Bevel, an independent expert forensic investigator, were brought in to examine the simulated crime scene. Both scientists had no idea what the experiment was for or that it was a reenactment of the JFK assassination."
and
""We might never know if Oswald pulled the trigger, but when you look at the wind pattern, the spread of the debris, the angles and distances involved, it's consistent with a shot from the sixth floor depository," said Martin."
and finally
""I think this is the wave of the future," said Martin. "If we had this technology back in the '60s, I think it would have put a lot of the conspiracy theories to rest.""
Reckoning with Cities, Suburbs, and Small Towns
I’ve had the opportunity to live in all three of these types of places, and in spite of this fact, I can’t clearly say that I prefer one over the others. Each type of place has its own benefits and drawbacks. So much is dependent on the place itself. Sometimes it all depends on my mood on a given day. Thinking about this subject though, I have come to a few conclusions:
1) Suburbs- I find I dislike the idea of suburbs the most, but also tend to find that I can be most comfortable in this type of environment for the longest amount of time. I’m sure it’s because I grew up in one. I basically live in one now. What I don’t like about them is all the driving. I’m also not a big fan of the landscape. I really dislike the way strip malls look and feel, but I use them nonetheless. I like areas with single family homes so long as there are sidewalks and at least some commercial areas within walking distance. I also think parks and public spaces in general greatly improve the feel of suburban neighborhoods.
2) Small towns- The quaint small town is such a romantic idea. Think Bedford Falls. A place where everyone exists as part of a larger community, its citizens essentially all one big extended family. Most small towns though, aren’t really that great. Sinclair Lewis saw them as places where the smart left and the unlucky stayed. Small towns can be kind of boring too. When opportunities are limited, especially economic ones, it takes a toll on the population, especially on young people. The best small towns, in my opinion, are the ones that have just a little more to offer. Either by a) being close to an urban center (some overlap with suburbs, I realize) b) having seasonal population changes (such as a large part-time summer community) or c) having a college, and thus becoming a college town, though I think those often have their own unique set of challenges that accompany them.
3) Cities- Walt Whitman said that city air breathes freer. I think he was right in some ways. Cities offer opportunity and variety, in all sorts of different ways. They also tend to be more expensive, more competitive, more crime-ridden and less comfortable to live in than other places. I have a real fondness for cities but my personality isn’t always compatible with city life. Cities are often exhilarating, but I usually find I’m ready to go home after a while. The best cities to live in, for me anyway, are smaller cities. Places that offer a taste of urban life but don’t go overboard. I’m thinking of places like Pasadena or Northampton. It’s also very important that a small city have a functioning economy. This applies mainly to the Northeast, but there are so many smaller cities that were once prosperous but have now fallen on hard times and are thoroughly unpleasant now. The best example I can think of is a place like Springfield, Massachusetts. It should be a nice place to live, but it’s actually absolutely terrible.
So to recap: Suburbs are good when they have some mixed zoning, sidewalks, and access to public spaces. Small Towns are good when they have part-year residents, a college, or are in close proximity to other unique areas (ie, a big city). Big cities are great to visit, but the best ones to live in are smaller ones that have strong economies.
Again, this all just my own personal opinion.
1) Suburbs- I find I dislike the idea of suburbs the most, but also tend to find that I can be most comfortable in this type of environment for the longest amount of time. I’m sure it’s because I grew up in one. I basically live in one now. What I don’t like about them is all the driving. I’m also not a big fan of the landscape. I really dislike the way strip malls look and feel, but I use them nonetheless. I like areas with single family homes so long as there are sidewalks and at least some commercial areas within walking distance. I also think parks and public spaces in general greatly improve the feel of suburban neighborhoods.
2) Small towns- The quaint small town is such a romantic idea. Think Bedford Falls. A place where everyone exists as part of a larger community, its citizens essentially all one big extended family. Most small towns though, aren’t really that great. Sinclair Lewis saw them as places where the smart left and the unlucky stayed. Small towns can be kind of boring too. When opportunities are limited, especially economic ones, it takes a toll on the population, especially on young people. The best small towns, in my opinion, are the ones that have just a little more to offer. Either by a) being close to an urban center (some overlap with suburbs, I realize) b) having seasonal population changes (such as a large part-time summer community) or c) having a college, and thus becoming a college town, though I think those often have their own unique set of challenges that accompany them.
3) Cities- Walt Whitman said that city air breathes freer. I think he was right in some ways. Cities offer opportunity and variety, in all sorts of different ways. They also tend to be more expensive, more competitive, more crime-ridden and less comfortable to live in than other places. I have a real fondness for cities but my personality isn’t always compatible with city life. Cities are often exhilarating, but I usually find I’m ready to go home after a while. The best cities to live in, for me anyway, are smaller cities. Places that offer a taste of urban life but don’t go overboard. I’m thinking of places like Pasadena or Northampton. It’s also very important that a small city have a functioning economy. This applies mainly to the Northeast, but there are so many smaller cities that were once prosperous but have now fallen on hard times and are thoroughly unpleasant now. The best example I can think of is a place like Springfield, Massachusetts. It should be a nice place to live, but it’s actually absolutely terrible.
So to recap: Suburbs are good when they have some mixed zoning, sidewalks, and access to public spaces. Small Towns are good when they have part-year residents, a college, or are in close proximity to other unique areas (ie, a big city). Big cities are great to visit, but the best ones to live in are smaller ones that have strong economies.
Again, this all just my own personal opinion.
Friday, November 14, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
People are Getting Old
Ed McMahon and Henry Kissinger are 85
Carl Reiner and Bea Arthur are 86
Ricardo Montalban and Nancy Reagan are 87
John Paul Stevens and Ray Bradbury are 88
Andy Rooney and J.D. Salinger are 89
Paul Harvey and Don Pardo are 90
Ernest Borgnine and Kirk Douglas are 91
Eli Wallach and Walter Cronkite are 92
Les Paul is 93
Jack LaLanne is 94
Art Linkletter and Karl Malden are 96
John Wooden is 97
And Claude Levi-Strauss is 99
Carl Reiner and Bea Arthur are 86
Ricardo Montalban and Nancy Reagan are 87
John Paul Stevens and Ray Bradbury are 88
Andy Rooney and J.D. Salinger are 89
Paul Harvey and Don Pardo are 90
Ernest Borgnine and Kirk Douglas are 91
Eli Wallach and Walter Cronkite are 92
Les Paul is 93
Jack LaLanne is 94
Art Linkletter and Karl Malden are 96
John Wooden is 97
And Claude Levi-Strauss is 99
World Champion
I saw this guy's act at a club in New York about 6 months ago and thought it was the funniest live comedy performance I'd ever seen. If you don't think he's funny I can't talk to you anymore. He's on '30 Rock' so you should like him:
Soccer
Soccer
Lewis Black on Nuclear Holocaust
I can't believe you guys don't like Lewis Black. I guess I won't press the issue, but here's a good bit of his, (in my opinion):
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Celebrity Sighting
Two in one day:
Lewis Black walking up Hudson near W. 10th st. in Greenwich Village around 1:00pm. Well-dressed but looking world-weary and pissed off.
Whoopi Goldberg, getting into an SUV limo in front of the ABC studios (where they film 'The View' among other shows), on the corner of W. 66th street and Columbus Ave., around 7:30 pm.
Lewis Black walking up Hudson near W. 10th st. in Greenwich Village around 1:00pm. Well-dressed but looking world-weary and pissed off.
Whoopi Goldberg, getting into an SUV limo in front of the ABC studios (where they film 'The View' among other shows), on the corner of W. 66th street and Columbus Ave., around 7:30 pm.
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Fuzzy Memories
Past presidential elections and what I remember about them:
2008- I'll remember watching the returns here in this apartment. I'll remember going into the local community center to cast my vote. I'll remember Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin on SNL. I'll remember when at the top of the 11 o'clock hour the graphic came on NBC proclaiming Obama the new president elect. I'll remember my mom calling me, excited and relieved that it was finally all over.
2004- I was busy moving to the East Coast and starting up my first semester of grad school when the election and campaigns were going on, so I don't really remember it. I just remember waking up the morning after the election and finding out that it all came down to Ohio, just as it had all come down to Florida four years earlier. I also remember voting in an elementary school somewhere in Amherst.
2000- I remember how NBC initially called it for Gore, then finding out very late at night that Bush had actually won. I remember how heated the Florida debate became. I also remember voting at my old elementary school, and going back into the cafeteria for the first time, all those years later.
1996- I remember taking the day off work at the library because I wanted to watch the returns. This was the first presidential election I was old enough to vote in. I remember thinking Dole never really had a chance.
1992- I remember a similar excitement to this past Tuesday, when a younger Democrat was elected after 12 years of a Republican White House. I remember Clinton going on Arsenio Hall and playing the saxophone. I remember Ross Perot.
1988- I remember watching the returns, and watching Bush beat Dukakis handily. I remember all the talk about Lloyd Bentsen and Dan Quayle. I remember Willy Horton and reading in People magazine that Kitty Dukakis used to be such an alcoholic that she would drink lysol.
1984- I remember Geraldine Ferraro and Walter Mondale. I remember how everyone seemed to love Reagan except for my parents. I remember Mondale only winning Minnesota and D.C.
1980- I vaguely remember Reagan winning and my mom being pissed. I sort of understood what a president was and new that George Washington had been one a long time ago, and I think I asked my mom if Reagan would be on the one dollar bill now. I remember my sister and her friends singing (to the tune of the Oscar Mayer jingle) "...cause Jimmy Carter has a way of screwing up the U.S.A."
2008- I'll remember watching the returns here in this apartment. I'll remember going into the local community center to cast my vote. I'll remember Tina Fey's impression of Sarah Palin on SNL. I'll remember when at the top of the 11 o'clock hour the graphic came on NBC proclaiming Obama the new president elect. I'll remember my mom calling me, excited and relieved that it was finally all over.
2004- I was busy moving to the East Coast and starting up my first semester of grad school when the election and campaigns were going on, so I don't really remember it. I just remember waking up the morning after the election and finding out that it all came down to Ohio, just as it had all come down to Florida four years earlier. I also remember voting in an elementary school somewhere in Amherst.
2000- I remember how NBC initially called it for Gore, then finding out very late at night that Bush had actually won. I remember how heated the Florida debate became. I also remember voting at my old elementary school, and going back into the cafeteria for the first time, all those years later.
1996- I remember taking the day off work at the library because I wanted to watch the returns. This was the first presidential election I was old enough to vote in. I remember thinking Dole never really had a chance.
1992- I remember a similar excitement to this past Tuesday, when a younger Democrat was elected after 12 years of a Republican White House. I remember Clinton going on Arsenio Hall and playing the saxophone. I remember Ross Perot.
1988- I remember watching the returns, and watching Bush beat Dukakis handily. I remember all the talk about Lloyd Bentsen and Dan Quayle. I remember Willy Horton and reading in People magazine that Kitty Dukakis used to be such an alcoholic that she would drink lysol.
1984- I remember Geraldine Ferraro and Walter Mondale. I remember how everyone seemed to love Reagan except for my parents. I remember Mondale only winning Minnesota and D.C.
1980- I vaguely remember Reagan winning and my mom being pissed. I sort of understood what a president was and new that George Washington had been one a long time ago, and I think I asked my mom if Reagan would be on the one dollar bill now. I remember my sister and her friends singing (to the tune of the Oscar Mayer jingle) "...cause Jimmy Carter has a way of screwing up the U.S.A."
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Cities Rated
It turns out I’ve been to 15 of the 30 largest metropolitan areas in the United States. Some I’ve spent a lot of time in (New York, Los Angeles, Seattle) and some I’ve done little more than drive through (San Jose, Phoenix). Using no particular criteria other than my own subjective opinion I’ve ranked the places from 1 to 15. 1 being the place I liked best, 15 the place I liked least:
1. Boston- This has to be at the top of my list. It's a really beautiful city and a very refined, cultured place. It has just about everything one could want in a city-- major sports teams, great museums, a comprehensive subway system,-- but it isn't too big or unruly. I'd move there in a heartbeat but the Wifey isn't too keen on the place. Her chief complaint: too homogenous.
2. San Francisco- Beautiful place. Great weather. Real international feel. Again, just the right size. Surrounding areas are nice too. I like the fact that in some ways it feels like an old east coast city, but still has a very west coast vibe.
3. New York- Hard to be objective on this one. Probably should be number one but I know it too well to put it up top. Really doesn't compare to any other city on the list in many ways. Has everything, but loses points for being so big and noisy. Undoubtedly America's greatest city, if not my absolute favorite.
4. San Diego- Nice place. Comfortable place. Enjoyable weather and a relaxed vibe. Am a big fan of the Balboa Park area. Great restaurants downtown. Biggest complaint-- leave the coast and the fun disintegrates rapidly. Hard not to like though.
5. Chicago- Great city. Fun place despite some rough edges. Tons of character to this place. Downtown is amazingly clean and polished. Biggest complaint-- feels more like an overgrown small American town than an international hub.
6. Los Angeles- Again, hard to be objective, although you might be surprised how much time and energy I've spent defending this place since I've moved to the east coast. Truly a world city, has so much to offer. Has a lot of crappy areas though, and surprisingly poor infrastructure compared to most other places on this list.
7. Seattle- Overall a nice place. Clean and green, but not always particularly exciting. The salmon is good and the view of Mt. Rainier is stunning when it's not too cloudy to see it, but after that it's a lot like Southern California on a very rainy day. Very homogenous with a weird white-trash feel in some parts.
8. Portland, Oregon- Not too different from Seattle. Green and pleasant but maybe not a ton of there there. Would be more appealing if it weren't so isolated from any other big cities.
9. Denver- Nice place. Would put it in the same category as Seattle and Portland, only in the mountains instead of in a forest by the sea. Perfectly fine place but probably not one that would draw you from other parts of the country, unless of course you're big on mountain climbing.
10. Baltimore- Has a lot of cool things to offer, but is in a lot of ways kind of a crappy town. Huge swaths are little more than slums, yet it's also a fun place. Lots and lots of character but too damn hot in the summer and you're playing the good neighborhood, bad neighborhood game every other block.
11. San Jose- Nice enough but kind of boring. Nothing there that you can't find anywhere else with the exception of the Winchester House.
12. Philadelphia- Surprisingly unpleasant place. Where did it go wrong and Boston go right? Nothing but a string of bad neighborhoods surrounding a sketchy downtown with a few historic monuments. Has the history but is lacking the charm. All the grittiness of New York with none of the grandeur.
13. Washington D.C. - I find this place interesting. There are supposedly some nice residential places, like Georgetown, and DuPont circle has a perfectly fine New Haven-y kind of vibe, but so far as I can tell 99% of the city is one big ghetto. The other one percent is all the monuments that are worth seeing once, but then it's best to get the hell out.
14. Las Vegas- The strip is an interesting place, I'll give you that. I would probably have fun if I lived there, at least until I got sick of the casinos, which would probably take at least a few weeks. The surrounding residential areas of the city are some of the most depressing places I've ever seen. They remind me of the crappier parts of the East San Gabriel Valley on the hottest, smoggiest days of the year. Only L.A. isn't 20 minutes away, it's 4 hours away. Ugh, kill me now.
15. Phoenix- Why does this city exist? I can find no redeeming qualities. It's hot, it's dry, it's crowded. The desert may have a certain beauty to it but I sure don't see it. Not much to offer aside from a bad sunburn.
1. Boston- This has to be at the top of my list. It's a really beautiful city and a very refined, cultured place. It has just about everything one could want in a city-- major sports teams, great museums, a comprehensive subway system,-- but it isn't too big or unruly. I'd move there in a heartbeat but the Wifey isn't too keen on the place. Her chief complaint: too homogenous.
2. San Francisco- Beautiful place. Great weather. Real international feel. Again, just the right size. Surrounding areas are nice too. I like the fact that in some ways it feels like an old east coast city, but still has a very west coast vibe.
3. New York- Hard to be objective on this one. Probably should be number one but I know it too well to put it up top. Really doesn't compare to any other city on the list in many ways. Has everything, but loses points for being so big and noisy. Undoubtedly America's greatest city, if not my absolute favorite.
4. San Diego- Nice place. Comfortable place. Enjoyable weather and a relaxed vibe. Am a big fan of the Balboa Park area. Great restaurants downtown. Biggest complaint-- leave the coast and the fun disintegrates rapidly. Hard not to like though.
5. Chicago- Great city. Fun place despite some rough edges. Tons of character to this place. Downtown is amazingly clean and polished. Biggest complaint-- feels more like an overgrown small American town than an international hub.
6. Los Angeles- Again, hard to be objective, although you might be surprised how much time and energy I've spent defending this place since I've moved to the east coast. Truly a world city, has so much to offer. Has a lot of crappy areas though, and surprisingly poor infrastructure compared to most other places on this list.
7. Seattle- Overall a nice place. Clean and green, but not always particularly exciting. The salmon is good and the view of Mt. Rainier is stunning when it's not too cloudy to see it, but after that it's a lot like Southern California on a very rainy day. Very homogenous with a weird white-trash feel in some parts.
8. Portland, Oregon- Not too different from Seattle. Green and pleasant but maybe not a ton of there there. Would be more appealing if it weren't so isolated from any other big cities.
9. Denver- Nice place. Would put it in the same category as Seattle and Portland, only in the mountains instead of in a forest by the sea. Perfectly fine place but probably not one that would draw you from other parts of the country, unless of course you're big on mountain climbing.
10. Baltimore- Has a lot of cool things to offer, but is in a lot of ways kind of a crappy town. Huge swaths are little more than slums, yet it's also a fun place. Lots and lots of character but too damn hot in the summer and you're playing the good neighborhood, bad neighborhood game every other block.
11. San Jose- Nice enough but kind of boring. Nothing there that you can't find anywhere else with the exception of the Winchester House.
12. Philadelphia- Surprisingly unpleasant place. Where did it go wrong and Boston go right? Nothing but a string of bad neighborhoods surrounding a sketchy downtown with a few historic monuments. Has the history but is lacking the charm. All the grittiness of New York with none of the grandeur.
13. Washington D.C. - I find this place interesting. There are supposedly some nice residential places, like Georgetown, and DuPont circle has a perfectly fine New Haven-y kind of vibe, but so far as I can tell 99% of the city is one big ghetto. The other one percent is all the monuments that are worth seeing once, but then it's best to get the hell out.
14. Las Vegas- The strip is an interesting place, I'll give you that. I would probably have fun if I lived there, at least until I got sick of the casinos, which would probably take at least a few weeks. The surrounding residential areas of the city are some of the most depressing places I've ever seen. They remind me of the crappier parts of the East San Gabriel Valley on the hottest, smoggiest days of the year. Only L.A. isn't 20 minutes away, it's 4 hours away. Ugh, kill me now.
15. Phoenix- Why does this city exist? I can find no redeeming qualities. It's hot, it's dry, it's crowded. The desert may have a certain beauty to it but I sure don't see it. Not much to offer aside from a bad sunburn.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
The Wonders of the Internet
He died in 1964, yet there's a picture of my grandfather when he was my age on the World Wide Web:
What I find most remarkable is how little I resemble him.
What I find most remarkable is how little I resemble him.
Who Was President When the President Was Born?
1. George Washington -(none)
2. John Adams -(none)
3. Thomas Jefferson -(none)
4. James Madison -(none)
5. James Monroe -(none)
6. John Quincy Adams -(none)
7. Andrew Jackson -(none)
8. Martin Van Buren -(none)
9. William Henry Harrison -(none)
10. John Tyler -George Washington
11. James Polk -George Washington
12. Zachary Taylor -(none)
13. Millard Fillmore -John Adams
14. Franklin Pierce -Thomas Jefferson
15. James Buchanan -George Washington
16. Abraham Lincoln -Thomas Jefferson
17. Andrew Johnson -Thomas Jefferson
18. Ulysses S. Grant -James Monroe
19. Rutherford B. Hayes -James Monroe
20. James Garfield -Andrew Jackson
21. Chester A. Arthur -Andrew Jackson
22. Grover Cleveland -Martin Van Buren
23. Benjamin Harrison -Andrew Jackson
24. Grover Cleveland -Martin Van Buren
25. William McKinley -John Tyler
26. Theodore Roosevelt -James Buchanan
27. William Howard Taft -James Buchanan
28. Woodrow Wilson -Franklin Pierce
29. Warren G. Harding -Andrew Johnson
30. Calvin Coolidge -Ulysses S. Grant
31. Herbert Hoover -Ulysses S. Grant
32. Franklin Roosevelt -Chester A. Arthur
33. Harry Truman -Chester A. Arthur
34. Dwight Eisenhower -Benjamin Harrison
35. John F. Kennedy -Woodrow Wilson
36. Lyndon Johnson -Theodore Roosevelt
37. Richard Nixon -William Howard Taft
38. Gerald Ford -Woodrow Wilson
39. Jimmy Carter -Calvin Coolidge
40. Ronald Reagan -William Howard Taft
41. George Bush -Calvin Coolidge
42. Bill Clinton -Harry Truman
43. George W. Bush -Harry Truman
44. Barack Obama -John F. Kennedy
2. John Adams -(none)
3. Thomas Jefferson -(none)
4. James Madison -(none)
5. James Monroe -(none)
6. John Quincy Adams -(none)
7. Andrew Jackson -(none)
8. Martin Van Buren -(none)
9. William Henry Harrison -(none)
10. John Tyler -George Washington
11. James Polk -George Washington
12. Zachary Taylor -(none)
13. Millard Fillmore -John Adams
14. Franklin Pierce -Thomas Jefferson
15. James Buchanan -George Washington
16. Abraham Lincoln -Thomas Jefferson
17. Andrew Johnson -Thomas Jefferson
18. Ulysses S. Grant -James Monroe
19. Rutherford B. Hayes -James Monroe
20. James Garfield -Andrew Jackson
21. Chester A. Arthur -Andrew Jackson
22. Grover Cleveland -Martin Van Buren
23. Benjamin Harrison -Andrew Jackson
24. Grover Cleveland -Martin Van Buren
25. William McKinley -John Tyler
26. Theodore Roosevelt -James Buchanan
27. William Howard Taft -James Buchanan
28. Woodrow Wilson -Franklin Pierce
29. Warren G. Harding -Andrew Johnson
30. Calvin Coolidge -Ulysses S. Grant
31. Herbert Hoover -Ulysses S. Grant
32. Franklin Roosevelt -Chester A. Arthur
33. Harry Truman -Chester A. Arthur
34. Dwight Eisenhower -Benjamin Harrison
35. John F. Kennedy -Woodrow Wilson
36. Lyndon Johnson -Theodore Roosevelt
37. Richard Nixon -William Howard Taft
38. Gerald Ford -Woodrow Wilson
39. Jimmy Carter -Calvin Coolidge
40. Ronald Reagan -William Howard Taft
41. George Bush -Calvin Coolidge
42. Bill Clinton -Harry Truman
43. George W. Bush -Harry Truman
44. Barack Obama -John F. Kennedy
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Saturday, November 1, 2008
Another Creepy Numbers Station Broadcast
I like this one a little better than the other. Also in German, it sounds like an adult woman's voice. Again, not sure what's up with the images:
Friday, October 31, 2008
Numbers Stations
Two creepy postings in a row, I know, but I thought this was interesting.
I have a shortwave radio but it's not very strong. I listen to it late at night sometimes when I have trouble sleeping. Radio Nederlands comes in pretty clear as does Radio Stockholm. Fortunately the latter has broadcasts in English as well as Swedish. Mostly it's fun just to scan the dial to see what you can find. I find that what I can pick up on my radio varies from night to night. I think the weather can affect which signals come in and which don't.
Apparently there exist such things as Numbers Stations, but I've never been able to find one personally. A Numbers Station is exactly what it sounds like. It's a station signal which consists of nothing more than a voice reading off a series of numbers, sometimes in English, sometimes not. Often there's accompanying music.
What makes Numbers Stations particularly eerie is that there's no official explanation for what they are. The most plausible theory is that they're intelligence communications. The codes could be changed daily and easily accessed by agents via a shortwave receiver. So the whole process is very secure and also fairly practical.
The following is a recording of a Numbers Station taken off shortwave. The voice seems to be that of a little girl and the language is German. The glockenspiel music adds a nice touch of creepiness. I'm not sure what's up with the video component. I think it detracts from the audio, which is creepy enough without the images:
I have a shortwave radio but it's not very strong. I listen to it late at night sometimes when I have trouble sleeping. Radio Nederlands comes in pretty clear as does Radio Stockholm. Fortunately the latter has broadcasts in English as well as Swedish. Mostly it's fun just to scan the dial to see what you can find. I find that what I can pick up on my radio varies from night to night. I think the weather can affect which signals come in and which don't.
Apparently there exist such things as Numbers Stations, but I've never been able to find one personally. A Numbers Station is exactly what it sounds like. It's a station signal which consists of nothing more than a voice reading off a series of numbers, sometimes in English, sometimes not. Often there's accompanying music.
What makes Numbers Stations particularly eerie is that there's no official explanation for what they are. The most plausible theory is that they're intelligence communications. The codes could be changed daily and easily accessed by agents via a shortwave receiver. So the whole process is very secure and also fairly practical.
The following is a recording of a Numbers Station taken off shortwave. The voice seems to be that of a little girl and the language is German. The glockenspiel music adds a nice touch of creepiness. I'm not sure what's up with the video component. I think it detracts from the audio, which is creepy enough without the images:
The Max Headroom Incident
Here's the setup: Imagine it's November 22, 1987. It's 11:15 at night and you live in Chicago. You're watching a crappy British sci-fi show on the local PBS affiliate when all of a sudden this comes on your TV screen:
More about this strange incident here
Happy Halloween
More about this strange incident here
Happy Halloween
My New Favorite TV Show
I've spent 3 of the past four years living without cable. One of those years I spent completely without a TV. As a result, I know nothing about what happened in the world or in popular culture between mid-2004 and mid-2005.
But now I have cable again and I get to watch all sorts of great shows once more. I get to watch "Good Eats" with Alton Brown. Even though the skits are annoying and his dorkiness is often cringe-inducing, each show provides a wealth of knowledge about food science and cooking technique.
I get to watch endless reruns of "Seinfeld", "Friends", and "Law and Order", and it seems like "Globe Trekker" is always on too. The other day the nasally little British guy went to Lappland. How cool is that? I get to watch "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain, and I've also gotten into the new show on that channel with the bald guy who scours the globe looking for disgusting things to eat.
The Hallmark Channel shows reruns of "Little House on the Prairie" four times a day, and since we get four PBS stations I can watch Charlie Rose in the afternoon, and all four seasons of "New Scandinavian Cooking" are in heavy rotation. The ones with Tina Nordstrom are my favorite. It's like that Weird Al song about the guy who quits his job so he can stay home and watch TV all the time.
But my favorite of all of these is "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic Channel. I'm totally hooked. I'm sure it's edited to make Cesar look better than he really is, but something about this show I find fascinating. I think because it's essentially about someone who's really good at what he does for a living, and the whole point of the show is for you to just watch him doing it. The show is a great argument for the value of going through training and developing expertise on a subject.
The best career advice I ever received was- go out and become really good at one thing. If you're good enough at it, people will come to you. I would amend that to "become really good at one useful, marketable thing", and Cesar's life is this idea personified.
Another reason why the show works so well is the fact that many people, even dog owners, don't know much about obedience training and animal behavior. Cesar shows up and probably tells a lot of people in one hour, more useful information about dog ownership than they've heard their entire lives.
The show strikes me on a personal level for three reasons: 1) I like dogs and animals in general so I'm naturally drawn to the subject matter. 2) The suburban Southern California setting of the show is very familiar, as is Cesar's Mexican accent. 3) I see parallels between what Ceasar does and what I do. I also go into homes and offer my expertise to people, to help them with a problem that one of their family members is having. A lot of my job is training the parents as well as treating the client. And, just because someone is a parent, that doesn't mean they automatically know a lot about how children develop speech and language. I seem to have a hard time remembering that last point. I'd say the similarities end there though.
I'm not as confident or as effective as Cesar yet, nor do I have a TV crew following me around into people's homes, but in continuing with my time-honored tradition of learning about life through what I see on TV, I now have a new role-model to follow.
But now I have cable again and I get to watch all sorts of great shows once more. I get to watch "Good Eats" with Alton Brown. Even though the skits are annoying and his dorkiness is often cringe-inducing, each show provides a wealth of knowledge about food science and cooking technique.
I get to watch endless reruns of "Seinfeld", "Friends", and "Law and Order", and it seems like "Globe Trekker" is always on too. The other day the nasally little British guy went to Lappland. How cool is that? I get to watch "No Reservations" with Anthony Bourdain, and I've also gotten into the new show on that channel with the bald guy who scours the globe looking for disgusting things to eat.
The Hallmark Channel shows reruns of "Little House on the Prairie" four times a day, and since we get four PBS stations I can watch Charlie Rose in the afternoon, and all four seasons of "New Scandinavian Cooking" are in heavy rotation. The ones with Tina Nordstrom are my favorite. It's like that Weird Al song about the guy who quits his job so he can stay home and watch TV all the time.
But my favorite of all of these is "The Dog Whisperer" on the National Geographic Channel. I'm totally hooked. I'm sure it's edited to make Cesar look better than he really is, but something about this show I find fascinating. I think because it's essentially about someone who's really good at what he does for a living, and the whole point of the show is for you to just watch him doing it. The show is a great argument for the value of going through training and developing expertise on a subject.
The best career advice I ever received was- go out and become really good at one thing. If you're good enough at it, people will come to you. I would amend that to "become really good at one useful, marketable thing", and Cesar's life is this idea personified.
Another reason why the show works so well is the fact that many people, even dog owners, don't know much about obedience training and animal behavior. Cesar shows up and probably tells a lot of people in one hour, more useful information about dog ownership than they've heard their entire lives.
The show strikes me on a personal level for three reasons: 1) I like dogs and animals in general so I'm naturally drawn to the subject matter. 2) The suburban Southern California setting of the show is very familiar, as is Cesar's Mexican accent. 3) I see parallels between what Ceasar does and what I do. I also go into homes and offer my expertise to people, to help them with a problem that one of their family members is having. A lot of my job is training the parents as well as treating the client. And, just because someone is a parent, that doesn't mean they automatically know a lot about how children develop speech and language. I seem to have a hard time remembering that last point. I'd say the similarities end there though.
I'm not as confident or as effective as Cesar yet, nor do I have a TV crew following me around into people's homes, but in continuing with my time-honored tradition of learning about life through what I see on TV, I now have a new role-model to follow.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
My Courageous Immigrant Ancestors
One of the nice things about being on the East Coast now is that I'm closer to some of my relatives who know all sorts of interesting things about our family history.
For example, I recently found out that my first ancestor to come to the U.S. from Ireland was a fellow named Patrick Keegan, who was born around 1775 in the Sligo-Roscommon area. He came to New Jersey around 1800, and the way the story has been handed down, he wasn't here for more than about 5 minutes before he was run over by a team of horses and killed. In all fairness, if you've chosen New Jersey as your destination how much better could you really expect?
I know what you're thinking-- that's sad and you shouldn't make fun of the guy. Well, he was my relative, so that legally means I can make fun of him all I want. You may also be thinking what I was thinking when I heard this story-- If he died as soon as he got here, how did he have time to father children who would in turn father other children that would eventually lead to me?
The answer is simple: When he came to the U.S. he left behind a wife and children. (Since he was from Ireland I'm guessing he left behind A LOT of children). The plan was to make some money here and then either send for them, or for him to return there eventually. His oldest son was named Patrick MacDermot Keegan (because just plain "Patrick Keegan" didn't sound Irish enough) and a few years later he followed in his father's footsteps and came to the Maine coast (a much, much better decision already). Unlike his father he didn't get killed immediately. He got a job doing something and was eventually able to bring the whole family over, just in time for them to enjoy drinking Guinness and attend St. Patrick's Day parades in the U.S.A., while their fellow countrymen back home geared up for another famine and continued oppression from the British.
Patrick (PMK) eventually moved to Boston and raised a family. To give some historical perspective, PMK had several daughters, one of whom was named Sarah. Sarah Keegan was my grandmother's grandmother.
**********
My first ancestor ever to come over here came from England. His name was William Shurtleff and he arrived in Plymouth in 1636. He did well for himself, apparently, and had a big family and lots of heirs, despite the fact that you don't come across the name Shurtleff too often. One day around 1665 William was sitting in his house, in front of his fireplace watching-- the fireplace, I guess-- when a bolt of lightning came down the chimney and killed him.
So there you have it. Quite an impressive pedigree, wouldn't you say?
For example, I recently found out that my first ancestor to come to the U.S. from Ireland was a fellow named Patrick Keegan, who was born around 1775 in the Sligo-Roscommon area. He came to New Jersey around 1800, and the way the story has been handed down, he wasn't here for more than about 5 minutes before he was run over by a team of horses and killed. In all fairness, if you've chosen New Jersey as your destination how much better could you really expect?
I know what you're thinking-- that's sad and you shouldn't make fun of the guy. Well, he was my relative, so that legally means I can make fun of him all I want. You may also be thinking what I was thinking when I heard this story-- If he died as soon as he got here, how did he have time to father children who would in turn father other children that would eventually lead to me?
The answer is simple: When he came to the U.S. he left behind a wife and children. (Since he was from Ireland I'm guessing he left behind A LOT of children). The plan was to make some money here and then either send for them, or for him to return there eventually. His oldest son was named Patrick MacDermot Keegan (because just plain "Patrick Keegan" didn't sound Irish enough) and a few years later he followed in his father's footsteps and came to the Maine coast (a much, much better decision already). Unlike his father he didn't get killed immediately. He got a job doing something and was eventually able to bring the whole family over, just in time for them to enjoy drinking Guinness and attend St. Patrick's Day parades in the U.S.A., while their fellow countrymen back home geared up for another famine and continued oppression from the British.
Patrick (PMK) eventually moved to Boston and raised a family. To give some historical perspective, PMK had several daughters, one of whom was named Sarah. Sarah Keegan was my grandmother's grandmother.
**********
My first ancestor ever to come over here came from England. His name was William Shurtleff and he arrived in Plymouth in 1636. He did well for himself, apparently, and had a big family and lots of heirs, despite the fact that you don't come across the name Shurtleff too often. One day around 1665 William was sitting in his house, in front of his fireplace watching-- the fireplace, I guess-- when a bolt of lightning came down the chimney and killed him.
So there you have it. Quite an impressive pedigree, wouldn't you say?
Weather
While all you Southern Californians are suffering through temps in the high 70s this week, I'll have you know that yesterday's high temperature here was 45 degrees, and it started snowing briefly yesterday afternoon. Jealous?
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Snoozefest
The Phillies won the World Series, 4 games to 1. I guess I was wrong by calling it for the Rays. I won't be quitting my day job anytime soon.
Cocaine is Bad For You
If you lived in Southern California in the early '80s and wanted to spend $500 on a VCR the size of a microwave oven, where could you go?
The answer was simple: to The Federated Group.
Federated was an audio/video chain that is only noteworthy for having had frenetic, surreal commercials starring Shadoe Stevens as fictional company spokesperson Fred Rated. I loved these commercials when I was little and I like to think they informed my incredibly sharp and unique sense of humor as I got older.
The answer was simple: to The Federated Group.
Federated was an audio/video chain that is only noteworthy for having had frenetic, surreal commercials starring Shadoe Stevens as fictional company spokesperson Fred Rated. I loved these commercials when I was little and I like to think they informed my incredibly sharp and unique sense of humor as I got older.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Interesting Icelandic Accent
This is a clip of Bjork that must be about 15 or 20 years old. This was before she lived in England or the U.S. because her accent is much less pronounced now. (no pun intended).
What really stands out to me:
1) An unusual mouth position- like her voice is coming from a place very far forward in her mouth.
2) The 'r's are rolled. More like a Scottish burr or even a Spanish "rr".
3) Something unusual is going on with her "s"s and "z"s. I'm not sure if it's indicative of Icelandic, or if it's something that's idiosyncratic to her. They seem unusually sibilant, like there's a natural whistle to the sound.
Overall sounds much more similar to Norwegian and Danish than to Swedish.
What really stands out to me:
1) An unusual mouth position- like her voice is coming from a place very far forward in her mouth.
2) The 'r's are rolled. More like a Scottish burr or even a Spanish "rr".
3) Something unusual is going on with her "s"s and "z"s. I'm not sure if it's indicative of Icelandic, or if it's something that's idiosyncratic to her. They seem unusually sibilant, like there's a natural whistle to the sound.
Overall sounds much more similar to Norwegian and Danish than to Swedish.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
Childhood Wasteland
Any problem I have in my adult life now I blame on having spent my entire childhood watching terrible TV shows. Most of these shows were sitcoms. Sitcoms, by nature, have almost no intrinsic value whatsoever. Even though they usually try to stuff an awkward moral in there somewhere they teach the viewer nothing of any weight about life. People in sitcoms almost always enjoy a very high standard of living, disproportionate to the amount of time they spend working, or even to the line of work they’re in. Dialogue in sitcoms generally consists of nothing more than one character setting up a one-liner for another. No one in the real world talks this way, and if they try to, other people find it very annoying, as I’ve learned the hard way, a number of times. The following is a list of the 20 worst sitcoms I watched regularly as a child. In order to prevent this list from becoming too long I’ve only included shows that I used to watch primarily in their first run (as opposed to reruns), so no Kotter, Brady Bunch, or Gilligan’s Island:
1. Alice Bad show. The one with the waitress who’s trying to become a singer in every episode. Vic Tayback played Mel, the namesake of Mel’s Diner, where most of the show took place. Interestingly, it was based on a movie called Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, which was a melodrama. It’s greatest legacy was to introduce the term “Kiss My Grits” into the American vernacular.
2. Charles in Charge Wow. I can’t believe I used to watch this one. There were actually two incarnations of this show, two separate families that Charles worked for. It was never clear what Charles’s job in the house was, exactly, but apparently he was in charge.
3. Diff’rent Strokes I always liked the Drummond’s apartment and I was disappointed when I moved to New York and couldn’t find a place like theirs that was affordable. I stuck with this show for a long time, but I have to admit, my heart wasn’t really in it after Mr. D got remarried and they introduced the Sam character. I feel bad for Gary Coleman. Whenever I see him pop up in cameos in movies and in shows nowadays I get really depressed and usually have to turn off the TV for a while. I’m not sure why. Interestingly, I ended up marrying a woman who seems to remind a lot of people of Dana Plato. (More for her appearance and personality than her criminal record and drug problems)
4. Three’s Company KTTV used to show this on weeknights at 6pm and then again at 7pm, five nights a week, though I remember watching the later episodes on their first run, especially the story arc that involved Jack opening up his Bistro (cleverly named Jack’s Bistro). I remember watching the final episode of this show and feeling genuinely sad. If I ever have access to a time machine in the future, I really should go back to 1984 and knock some sense into the 9 year-old version of myself over this one. My favorite episode was the one where there was this big misunderstanding because only part of a conversation was overheard.
5. Too Close for Comfort I’m surprised at the number of people I’ve met who’ve never heard of this show. Maybe because it was syndicated and wasn’t on a lot of smaller markets. The premise was that Ted Knight was a cartoonist (who always drew his cartoons while holding the pen in the mouth of a puppet he was holding—I never understood how that worked) who lived with his wife in a duplex. Living below them were their two grown daughters. There was a scene in every episode (or so it seemed) where someone would come to visit Mr. Rush (Knight) and make some comment about the hot-looking girls downstairs, which of course would set Mr. Rush off. One of the daughters was a typical ‘80s bleach-bottle blonde, and the other one looked Puerto Rican, and I swear was the girlfriend in The Warriors. I should look it up. Also featured Jm J Bullock as Munro, a character who was supposed to be one of the daughters’ ex-boyfriends (yeah, I’m buying that).
6. Gimme a Break! Nell Carter, three girls, Grandpa, Joey Lawrence, and eventually Rosie O’Donnell. What more could you ask for?
7. Silver Spoons Some obnoxious rich jerk who plays with toys all day has a kid he never gave a damn about until the kid comes knocking on his door one day, and suddenly he turns into the greatest father ever. I remember the big ride-on train. And John Houseman. John Houseman--I guess by the time he reached retirement age he wasn’t happy with the distinguished career he’d spent a lifetime cultivating, and so decided to appear on this awful show. Also, Carlton was on this show too, only back then his name was Alphonso.
8. Mr. Belvedere I find it hard to believe that a suburban, middle class American family in the 1980s would have much call for an English butler. Especially if that butler spent most of his time swapping smart-ass quips with their nine year-old son. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what was all wrong about this show.
9. That’s Incredible Not technically a sitcom, but it was pretty funny if you think about it. What I remember most from this show were all the video game tournaments (5 year olds who could defeat all twelve levels of Donkey King in five minutes—that kind of thing) and the fetish the show had for Rubik’s cubes. I remember an entire episode that was devoted to a Rubik’s cube tournament, and there was one about a blind guy who could solve it. It turned out the blind guy had a cube with Braille on it, but I guess that’s still kind of admirable, if not exactly incredible. They even had a guy on once who swallowed and regurgitated things (it was absolutely disgusting) and one of things he swallowed was a miniature Rubik’s cube.
10. Family Ties It’s obvious now that the original premise for the show was to have it focus on the parents, but at some early point Michael J. Fox became the breakout star of the millennium. I never understood why, if Alex was so smart, he ended up going to the local college down the street, instead of Princeton or Harvard.
11. Webster I can’t explain this one. Couple adopts a little black kid who looks like he’s five but is really 17, but is actually supposed to be about ten on the show. Exceptionally horrible theme song.
12. Happy Days Kids today have no appreciation for how huge a cultural force “The Fonz” was, back around ’81 or ’82. As far as sitcoms go this one wasn’t too bad, really, it just went on for too long. The most disquieting aspect of the show’s run was how blatantly it abandoned its ‘50s theme and setting during the last few seasons (which are the ones I most remember). In the early episodes the dad is building a bomb shelter in the backyard and Richie’s dating a girl who’s working on the Adlai Stevenson campaign. By the end of the show Joanie’s wearing Jordache Jeans and has a jheri curl.
13. Punky Brewster Not good. Not good for anyone. The premise was odd, to say the least. A little girl gets abandoned by her parents and ends up befriending and living with a crotchety old photographer. Yeah, that’s right he was a photographer-- remember the episode where his studio burned down? I always felt they could have given him a more appropriate job, like undertaker or taxidermist. It also bothered me that Punky’s dog went with her everywhere, even to school. My favorite episode was the one where Cherry got locked in the refrigerator.
14. Laverne and Shirley Looking back, I don’t think I ever understood a word Laverne said. Is it just me? What was the deal with Lenny and Squiggy? I was watching Entertainment Tonight about five years ago and they had on the actor who played Squiggy. Apparently he’s developed multiple sclerosis, and his hope was that if there was ever a Laverne and Shirley reunion show, Squiggy would be shown as suffering from MS. Ever since that interview I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how that would work. Also, I remember at some point the show moved to Hollywood for absolutely no reason.
15. Mama’s Family There was something surreal about the setup. A woman in her 30s playing a woman in her 60s (I’m presuming), and this is the main character, who also happens to be completely unlikable. Ahead of its time and somehow also very much of its time. Unusual too in that the setting was clearly supposed to be somewhere in the South or the southern Midwest
16. Facts of Life Kill me now. This show was on forever and I watched every single episode. The show fell to pieces at the end. They were making it up as they were filming it—“let’s open up a candy shop, let’s bring in an Australian girl, let’s bring in George Clooney”. Everything I knew about adolescent girls growing up I learned from watching this show, and I suffered deeply as a result.
17. Small Wonder The worst television show of all time. Hands down. The theme song is not only the worst theme song I’ve ever heard, but it’s probably also the worst song I’ve ever heard. Makes no sense on so many levels. The dad invents a robot. OK. But it has to be a secret. Why? They send her out into the real world. Why? She sleeps standing up in a closet in her brother’s room. What the… ? She only has one dress. She is indistinguishable from a real human child in every regard except for her voice?
18. Mork and Mindy Robin Williams running around acting like a jackass for 30 minutes, every Friday night at 8:30. What was it with aliens in the ‘80s? I was excited as a small child to ponder the thought that there could actually be aliens out there, but disheartened by the prospect that they could all be assholes like this guy.
19. Night Court I was inclined to think that this wasn’t a bad show at all, but then I caught a few reruns not too long ago. Wow, this has not aged well. Even Cheers hasn’t aged well, and this show was no Cheers. Again, another annoying show that portrays a vision of adult life that in no way resembles reality. I did once see the actor that played Bull at the Arboretum in Arcadia. I was tempted to go up to him and say something but then I suddenly realized I didn’t care.
20. One Day at a Time What was going on with Schneider and all those keys? I could never make heads or tails of this show. The common thread seemed to be the mom. The daughters didn’t look at all like each other and one of them split pretty early on (the one that was in American Graffiti). The other one stuck around and got married and the husband became a central character. Then they also introduced a dorky neighbor, and then a gay neighbor. Again, all over the place.
So what to do now? Realizing that I can’t get all those hours, weekend afternoons, and Saturday nights back? What’s the solution? I’ll tell you the solution: Be bitter, be very bitter, and then try to channel that bitterness into something positive, like sarcasm. And as soon as I’m able to do that I’ll write another post about it.
1. Alice Bad show. The one with the waitress who’s trying to become a singer in every episode. Vic Tayback played Mel, the namesake of Mel’s Diner, where most of the show took place. Interestingly, it was based on a movie called Alice Doesn’t Live Here Anymore, which was a melodrama. It’s greatest legacy was to introduce the term “Kiss My Grits” into the American vernacular.
2. Charles in Charge Wow. I can’t believe I used to watch this one. There were actually two incarnations of this show, two separate families that Charles worked for. It was never clear what Charles’s job in the house was, exactly, but apparently he was in charge.
3. Diff’rent Strokes I always liked the Drummond’s apartment and I was disappointed when I moved to New York and couldn’t find a place like theirs that was affordable. I stuck with this show for a long time, but I have to admit, my heart wasn’t really in it after Mr. D got remarried and they introduced the Sam character. I feel bad for Gary Coleman. Whenever I see him pop up in cameos in movies and in shows nowadays I get really depressed and usually have to turn off the TV for a while. I’m not sure why. Interestingly, I ended up marrying a woman who seems to remind a lot of people of Dana Plato. (More for her appearance and personality than her criminal record and drug problems)
4. Three’s Company KTTV used to show this on weeknights at 6pm and then again at 7pm, five nights a week, though I remember watching the later episodes on their first run, especially the story arc that involved Jack opening up his Bistro (cleverly named Jack’s Bistro). I remember watching the final episode of this show and feeling genuinely sad. If I ever have access to a time machine in the future, I really should go back to 1984 and knock some sense into the 9 year-old version of myself over this one. My favorite episode was the one where there was this big misunderstanding because only part of a conversation was overheard.
5. Too Close for Comfort I’m surprised at the number of people I’ve met who’ve never heard of this show. Maybe because it was syndicated and wasn’t on a lot of smaller markets. The premise was that Ted Knight was a cartoonist (who always drew his cartoons while holding the pen in the mouth of a puppet he was holding—I never understood how that worked) who lived with his wife in a duplex. Living below them were their two grown daughters. There was a scene in every episode (or so it seemed) where someone would come to visit Mr. Rush (Knight) and make some comment about the hot-looking girls downstairs, which of course would set Mr. Rush off. One of the daughters was a typical ‘80s bleach-bottle blonde, and the other one looked Puerto Rican, and I swear was the girlfriend in The Warriors. I should look it up. Also featured Jm J Bullock as Munro, a character who was supposed to be one of the daughters’ ex-boyfriends (yeah, I’m buying that).
6. Gimme a Break! Nell Carter, three girls, Grandpa, Joey Lawrence, and eventually Rosie O’Donnell. What more could you ask for?
7. Silver Spoons Some obnoxious rich jerk who plays with toys all day has a kid he never gave a damn about until the kid comes knocking on his door one day, and suddenly he turns into the greatest father ever. I remember the big ride-on train. And John Houseman. John Houseman--I guess by the time he reached retirement age he wasn’t happy with the distinguished career he’d spent a lifetime cultivating, and so decided to appear on this awful show. Also, Carlton was on this show too, only back then his name was Alphonso.
8. Mr. Belvedere I find it hard to believe that a suburban, middle class American family in the 1980s would have much call for an English butler. Especially if that butler spent most of his time swapping smart-ass quips with their nine year-old son. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what was all wrong about this show.
9. That’s Incredible Not technically a sitcom, but it was pretty funny if you think about it. What I remember most from this show were all the video game tournaments (5 year olds who could defeat all twelve levels of Donkey King in five minutes—that kind of thing) and the fetish the show had for Rubik’s cubes. I remember an entire episode that was devoted to a Rubik’s cube tournament, and there was one about a blind guy who could solve it. It turned out the blind guy had a cube with Braille on it, but I guess that’s still kind of admirable, if not exactly incredible. They even had a guy on once who swallowed and regurgitated things (it was absolutely disgusting) and one of things he swallowed was a miniature Rubik’s cube.
10. Family Ties It’s obvious now that the original premise for the show was to have it focus on the parents, but at some early point Michael J. Fox became the breakout star of the millennium. I never understood why, if Alex was so smart, he ended up going to the local college down the street, instead of Princeton or Harvard.
11. Webster I can’t explain this one. Couple adopts a little black kid who looks like he’s five but is really 17, but is actually supposed to be about ten on the show. Exceptionally horrible theme song.
12. Happy Days Kids today have no appreciation for how huge a cultural force “The Fonz” was, back around ’81 or ’82. As far as sitcoms go this one wasn’t too bad, really, it just went on for too long. The most disquieting aspect of the show’s run was how blatantly it abandoned its ‘50s theme and setting during the last few seasons (which are the ones I most remember). In the early episodes the dad is building a bomb shelter in the backyard and Richie’s dating a girl who’s working on the Adlai Stevenson campaign. By the end of the show Joanie’s wearing Jordache Jeans and has a jheri curl.
13. Punky Brewster Not good. Not good for anyone. The premise was odd, to say the least. A little girl gets abandoned by her parents and ends up befriending and living with a crotchety old photographer. Yeah, that’s right he was a photographer-- remember the episode where his studio burned down? I always felt they could have given him a more appropriate job, like undertaker or taxidermist. It also bothered me that Punky’s dog went with her everywhere, even to school. My favorite episode was the one where Cherry got locked in the refrigerator.
14. Laverne and Shirley Looking back, I don’t think I ever understood a word Laverne said. Is it just me? What was the deal with Lenny and Squiggy? I was watching Entertainment Tonight about five years ago and they had on the actor who played Squiggy. Apparently he’s developed multiple sclerosis, and his hope was that if there was ever a Laverne and Shirley reunion show, Squiggy would be shown as suffering from MS. Ever since that interview I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out how that would work. Also, I remember at some point the show moved to Hollywood for absolutely no reason.
15. Mama’s Family There was something surreal about the setup. A woman in her 30s playing a woman in her 60s (I’m presuming), and this is the main character, who also happens to be completely unlikable. Ahead of its time and somehow also very much of its time. Unusual too in that the setting was clearly supposed to be somewhere in the South or the southern Midwest
16. Facts of Life Kill me now. This show was on forever and I watched every single episode. The show fell to pieces at the end. They were making it up as they were filming it—“let’s open up a candy shop, let’s bring in an Australian girl, let’s bring in George Clooney”. Everything I knew about adolescent girls growing up I learned from watching this show, and I suffered deeply as a result.
17. Small Wonder The worst television show of all time. Hands down. The theme song is not only the worst theme song I’ve ever heard, but it’s probably also the worst song I’ve ever heard. Makes no sense on so many levels. The dad invents a robot. OK. But it has to be a secret. Why? They send her out into the real world. Why? She sleeps standing up in a closet in her brother’s room. What the… ? She only has one dress. She is indistinguishable from a real human child in every regard except for her voice?
18. Mork and Mindy Robin Williams running around acting like a jackass for 30 minutes, every Friday night at 8:30. What was it with aliens in the ‘80s? I was excited as a small child to ponder the thought that there could actually be aliens out there, but disheartened by the prospect that they could all be assholes like this guy.
19. Night Court I was inclined to think that this wasn’t a bad show at all, but then I caught a few reruns not too long ago. Wow, this has not aged well. Even Cheers hasn’t aged well, and this show was no Cheers. Again, another annoying show that portrays a vision of adult life that in no way resembles reality. I did once see the actor that played Bull at the Arboretum in Arcadia. I was tempted to go up to him and say something but then I suddenly realized I didn’t care.
20. One Day at a Time What was going on with Schneider and all those keys? I could never make heads or tails of this show. The common thread seemed to be the mom. The daughters didn’t look at all like each other and one of them split pretty early on (the one that was in American Graffiti). The other one stuck around and got married and the husband became a central character. Then they also introduced a dorky neighbor, and then a gay neighbor. Again, all over the place.
So what to do now? Realizing that I can’t get all those hours, weekend afternoons, and Saturday nights back? What’s the solution? I’ll tell you the solution: Be bitter, be very bitter, and then try to channel that bitterness into something positive, like sarcasm. And as soon as I’m able to do that I’ll write another post about it.
Really?
I don't how it is that I just realized this, but "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" and "The Alphabet Song" are, in fact, the same song. Is this news to anyone else, or am I just very, very stupid?
Monday, October 20, 2008
World Series
The Rays have the momentum right now, but are they spent after such a draining series against Boston? The Phillies are well rested, but at this point are they too well rested? The American League team is almost always stronger than the comparable National League team it gets matched up with. This has been true since about 1990. But the Phillies have been the most solid team this entire post season. So where do you go on this one?
I guess the thing to do is a point-by-point analysis. See how the two teams compare in terms of pitching and hitting, even see how position players match up against one another. Since I have a day job and it isn't with ESPN or Yahoo Sports I'm not going to bother with any of that and just go ahead and say Rays in six. But I'm just not sure on this one.
I guess the thing to do is a point-by-point analysis. See how the two teams compare in terms of pitching and hitting, even see how position players match up against one another. Since I have a day job and it isn't with ESPN or Yahoo Sports I'm not going to bother with any of that and just go ahead and say Rays in six. But I'm just not sure on this one.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Presidential Election
How it's looking now:
Nevada, Colorado, Missouri, Ohio, and Florida are still up for grabs. If Obama wins any one of these states he will win the election, with the exception of Nevada. If he only wins Nevada and no others there could be an electoral tie (269 apiece). This could potentially happen.
McCain needs to win all of these states in order to win the election. This could happen but it's not likely. If the early results show Obama having won Florida or Ohio, barring some other big upset (like McCain winning Pennsylvania) Obama will have it wrapped up at that point.
Nevada, Colorado, Missouri, Ohio, and Florida are still up for grabs. If Obama wins any one of these states he will win the election, with the exception of Nevada. If he only wins Nevada and no others there could be an electoral tie (269 apiece). This could potentially happen.
McCain needs to win all of these states in order to win the election. This could happen but it's not likely. If the early results show Obama having won Florida or Ohio, barring some other big upset (like McCain winning Pennsylvania) Obama will have it wrapped up at that point.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Living Through History
Very close to us is a town called Sleepy Hollow. It’s an old town, even for around here. Washington Irving, of course, set his Headless Horseman story there. The Old Dutch Church and burial ground is still there. Even though I think it was mostly filmed on a soundstage in England, the way the town is depicted in the Tim Burton/Johnny Depp movie isn’t too far off from what the place really looks like. Except, of course, with gas stations, paved roads, traffic lights, convenience stores, etc. For anyone who wants to see the real Sleepy Hollow, and is hoping to find something similar to what’s in the movie, I’d suggest not going to Sleepy Hollow at all, but driving three hours north to a town in Massachusetts called Montague. Montague really does look like the town shown in the movie.
One thing that doesn’t exist on the West Coast but is thriving on the East is the living history museum. These are historic places reconstructed to look the way they did in an earlier era, where actors dress up in old-timey costumes and get into character, pretending to be everyday people from that time. Some of the more notable examples are Old Richmondtown (in Staten Island), Colonial Williamsburg, the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, Sturbridge Village, and Plimoth (not Plymouth) Plantation.
When I was eight years old my family and I went to Plimoth Plantation. In the harbor nearby there’s a reconstruction of the Mayflower, cleverly called the Mayflower II. I made the mistake of asking one of the actors (I think he was supposed to be Miles Standish) what happened to the real Mayflower. His response was something like, “What sayeth you child? ’Tis the only Mayflower I know, what resteth within the confines of our fine harbour here.” I never did find out the answer.
Anyway, there’s a museum like this in Sleepy Hollow called Philipsburg Manor. Philipsburg Manor is an old farm, or it was the estate of a wealthy man named Philips. Or it was a place where no one actually lived but where slaves worked and imported goods were stored. Or it was a mill. I’m not really sure. All I know is that it cost me $12 to get in.
When these kinds of places are done right you leave having learned something. Philipsburg Manor wasn’t exactly done wrong, but let’s just say it could be improved. They had animals there, which was cool. There was a cow milking demonstration that was neat to see, and they had a cat on the premises who was very friendly. They had a ton of sheep for some reason. Maybe to give wool demonstrations. There was an old house, built in 1690-something. The one thing I could be certain about was that Adolph Philips died in 1750. He was the richest man in New York at the time (he also had a house on Canal Street) but no one has ever heard of him because he was a Loyalist during the revolution (even though the Revolution started 26 years after he died) and all his land was seized (and henceforth turned into a living history museum, I presume).
I’d like to think there’s still time for me to do something great in my lifetime. I’m not really working on anything at the moment. It most likely will happen by chance, possibly completely by accident. Like maybe I’ll drop the microwave in the bathtub one day and inadvertently discover the key to cold fusion. Either way, if that proves to be my fate, I’d love to have my childhood home turned into a living history museum.
I can imagine my parents’ house decorated to look exactly the way it did in 1987. Fortunately this would require no work at this point in time. There might be an actor playing my mom, reading the LA Times on the couch, while watching the Channel 4 news, drinking coffee, and talking to the cat. There might be an actor playing the gardener, talking about the way lawns were mowed back then, and how people in those days had things called “sprinkler systems” to keep lawns green in the summer.
At the very least I’d want continuity in my living history museum. No switching eras. Keep the focus clear. That’d be the only way to go.
One thing that doesn’t exist on the West Coast but is thriving on the East is the living history museum. These are historic places reconstructed to look the way they did in an earlier era, where actors dress up in old-timey costumes and get into character, pretending to be everyday people from that time. Some of the more notable examples are Old Richmondtown (in Staten Island), Colonial Williamsburg, the Lower East Side Tenement Museum, Sturbridge Village, and Plimoth (not Plymouth) Plantation.
When I was eight years old my family and I went to Plimoth Plantation. In the harbor nearby there’s a reconstruction of the Mayflower, cleverly called the Mayflower II. I made the mistake of asking one of the actors (I think he was supposed to be Miles Standish) what happened to the real Mayflower. His response was something like, “What sayeth you child? ’Tis the only Mayflower I know, what resteth within the confines of our fine harbour here.” I never did find out the answer.
Anyway, there’s a museum like this in Sleepy Hollow called Philipsburg Manor. Philipsburg Manor is an old farm, or it was the estate of a wealthy man named Philips. Or it was a place where no one actually lived but where slaves worked and imported goods were stored. Or it was a mill. I’m not really sure. All I know is that it cost me $12 to get in.
When these kinds of places are done right you leave having learned something. Philipsburg Manor wasn’t exactly done wrong, but let’s just say it could be improved. They had animals there, which was cool. There was a cow milking demonstration that was neat to see, and they had a cat on the premises who was very friendly. They had a ton of sheep for some reason. Maybe to give wool demonstrations. There was an old house, built in 1690-something. The one thing I could be certain about was that Adolph Philips died in 1750. He was the richest man in New York at the time (he also had a house on Canal Street) but no one has ever heard of him because he was a Loyalist during the revolution (even though the Revolution started 26 years after he died) and all his land was seized (and henceforth turned into a living history museum, I presume).
I’d like to think there’s still time for me to do something great in my lifetime. I’m not really working on anything at the moment. It most likely will happen by chance, possibly completely by accident. Like maybe I’ll drop the microwave in the bathtub one day and inadvertently discover the key to cold fusion. Either way, if that proves to be my fate, I’d love to have my childhood home turned into a living history museum.
I can imagine my parents’ house decorated to look exactly the way it did in 1987. Fortunately this would require no work at this point in time. There might be an actor playing my mom, reading the LA Times on the couch, while watching the Channel 4 news, drinking coffee, and talking to the cat. There might be an actor playing the gardener, talking about the way lawns were mowed back then, and how people in those days had things called “sprinkler systems” to keep lawns green in the summer.
At the very least I’d want continuity in my living history museum. No switching eras. Keep the focus clear. That’d be the only way to go.
Nevermind
VH1 has this new show called “Classic Albums” or something along those lines. The Wifey and I were flipping through channels the other day and the episode on Nirvana’s “Nevermind” came on. Of course I watched the whole thing and picked up my acoustic guitar during the commercials, trying to see if I could still remember how to play any of the songs. Most of them did come back, but some more readily than others. Halfway through the show the Wifey said, “So, what was the big deal with Nirvana anyway?”
To be fair she didn’t say it in a dismissive tone. I think she was genuinely curious. When my friends and I were listening to Nirvana in Southern California in the early 90s, she and her high school friends in Western Massachusetts were listening to John Cougar Mellencamp and Led Zeppelin. (I don’t actually know this for a fact, it’s just a guess, considering that’s what people in Western Massachusetts are still listening to).
Anyway, her question got me thinking, and I think it all boils down to the following:
1) The music was genuinely good. “Nevermind” had a lot of great songs on it and it was a well-produced album.
2) Cobain had credibility. We all believed he was a miserable guy and he eventually proved us right. Teenagers pick up on this sort of thing, and respect people who really are what they claim to be.
3) There was so much anger and desperation in their music that lots of young people were naturally drawn in.
4) They came along at the right time. They provided a welcome relief (and shot of welcome authenticity) from the cartoonish big-hair metal bands of the 80s. Rap was gaining a foothold but hadn’t completely taken over pop music yet. I’ve always felt that someone who isn’t exposed to rap before the age of 13 is never really going to like it. In 1991 there were still a lot of music fans like that, a lot of them still young, who were never going to take to rap. Ergo, there was still an audience for guitar-based popular music.
I’m sure there are other reasons but I think that basically covers it. I know I’m not the only person to say this about a band they loved when they were young, but I can honestly say I don’t think there’s any band around right now that’s anything like them. And I find that sort of amazing, considering it wasn’t really that long ago when I was driving around the San Gabriel Valley in my 1989 Honda Civic, listening to “All Apologies” on the radio for the first time, thinking it was the greatest song in the history of mankind.
To be fair she didn’t say it in a dismissive tone. I think she was genuinely curious. When my friends and I were listening to Nirvana in Southern California in the early 90s, she and her high school friends in Western Massachusetts were listening to John Cougar Mellencamp and Led Zeppelin. (I don’t actually know this for a fact, it’s just a guess, considering that’s what people in Western Massachusetts are still listening to).
Anyway, her question got me thinking, and I think it all boils down to the following:
1) The music was genuinely good. “Nevermind” had a lot of great songs on it and it was a well-produced album.
2) Cobain had credibility. We all believed he was a miserable guy and he eventually proved us right. Teenagers pick up on this sort of thing, and respect people who really are what they claim to be.
3) There was so much anger and desperation in their music that lots of young people were naturally drawn in.
4) They came along at the right time. They provided a welcome relief (and shot of welcome authenticity) from the cartoonish big-hair metal bands of the 80s. Rap was gaining a foothold but hadn’t completely taken over pop music yet. I’ve always felt that someone who isn’t exposed to rap before the age of 13 is never really going to like it. In 1991 there were still a lot of music fans like that, a lot of them still young, who were never going to take to rap. Ergo, there was still an audience for guitar-based popular music.
I’m sure there are other reasons but I think that basically covers it. I know I’m not the only person to say this about a band they loved when they were young, but I can honestly say I don’t think there’s any band around right now that’s anything like them. And I find that sort of amazing, considering it wasn’t really that long ago when I was driving around the San Gabriel Valley in my 1989 Honda Civic, listening to “All Apologies” on the radio for the first time, thinking it was the greatest song in the history of mankind.
Friday, October 10, 2008
Top Ten Career Paths I Never Pursued
The career I'm in right now (Pediatric Speech Pathologist) has a lot of good things about it. I can't really complain. I think it's in my nature though, to wonder if I'll want to do what I'm doing now up until I retire. Not because I'm unhappy with it, but because I know there are so many other things to do and other things that I'd like to do.
Here is a list of ten other careers that I at one time considered but never pursued. Some of them I may still pursue someday. For others, I think, the window of opportunity has passed. In no particular order:
1) Accent Reduction Specialist/Dialect Coach
I technically have all the qualifications for this one. Unlike what I do now, where the agencies I'm employed by find clients for me, this line of work would require me to go out and find my own clients. Probably my overall weakest job skill is networking, promoting, and selling myself. I don't naturally walk up to people I don't know with confidence, business card in hand, ready to tell them how awesome I am and why they should give me lots of their money to perform a service for them. Some people have that natural enterprising spirit but I sure don't.
Also, with a lot of this sort of stuff, I tend to like the theory more than the practice. I like learning about what different accents sound like and studying their individual phonologies, but that's a very different thing from sitting down and working with people one-on-one to make sure they're aspirating their initial /v/s the way a native Hindi speaker would. I've done a limited amount of this sort of work with people, and while it's been fun, I wouldn't want to have to rely on it as my sole means of income.
2) Travel Writer
Possibly my dream job. I'd love to go to different places and write about my experiences there, and combine it with talking about the history, geography, or culture of the place. Seems like a hard one to break into. I applied for an internship with Lonely Planet back around 1999 but obviously didn't get it. Though I do like to travel I don't know if I'd want to do it all the time. Like maybe two or three big trips a year would be my limit.
3) Meteorologist
I'm not even sure what a day in the life of a meteorologist is, but I imagine it involves reading charts and recording information. I like weather, but maybe my interest in experiencing different kinds would be better satisfied by #2.
4) Librarian
I've always been drawn to quiet, calming places, and so long as I wouldn't have had to work directly with the public, I think this could have been a pretty good gig. The downside- high potential for it being completely boring.
5) Museum Curator
My undergrad in anthropology prepared me either for doing this or for going on to teach anthropology, although both require advanced degrees to even get an entry-level position. Again, like libraries, I was always drawn to the quiet, calming quality of these places. I took a great museum class at CSUF my penultimate semester there but didn't want to pursue a Master's in Anthro, when it came right down to it. Also, my understanding is that there is a very small supply of these jobs relative to the number of people who want them.
6) Veterinary Technician
A lot less schooling than a DVM, but you still have a marketable skill, and who wouldn't love working with animals? My own time spent working in a vet clinic consisted of waking up very early to clean cages while being paid a low hourly wage. If I had stuck with it and moved up I would have gotten the AA required to be a VT, but at the time I already had a BA and I thought such a move would have been counter-productive.
7) Academic
At this point I think I'm done with being a student, and with school in general. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind being a lecturer. But then I think, just because I'm enthusiastic about a subject, does that mean I can get a room full of sixty 18 to 22 year olds to share my enthusiasm as well? Probably not. I wouldn't mind writing articles or even text-books in my area of interest. Doing scholarly research would be fine, but I have no interest in doing lab-based experiments.
8) Musician
A career in music always sounded fun to me, but ultimately grew to look like a better avocation than anything. The problem I always had was that I couldn't figure out in what capacity I wanted to work with music. I was too shy to be a performer, not schooled enough or interested in theory to be a teacher. Maybe the best option for me would have been:
9) Instrument Repairman/Piano Tuner/Restorer
I don't know why, but for some reason this always seemed like a great job. Straightforward work, quiet environment, low stress. I don't know why I think I'd want to be a piano tuner because I don't even know how to play one. I guess it always just seemed like a really easy, no hassle kind of a job.
10) Professional Baseball Player
This was the plan when I was about seven, but don't laugh, it's not too late. Judging by their performance in the ALDS against the Red Sox, it looks like the Angels could use some help off the bench. Unfortunately a complete and utter lack of ability to play the game at a competitive level (even against other seven year-olds) prevented this dream from ever coming true.
Here is a list of ten other careers that I at one time considered but never pursued. Some of them I may still pursue someday. For others, I think, the window of opportunity has passed. In no particular order:
1) Accent Reduction Specialist/Dialect Coach
I technically have all the qualifications for this one. Unlike what I do now, where the agencies I'm employed by find clients for me, this line of work would require me to go out and find my own clients. Probably my overall weakest job skill is networking, promoting, and selling myself. I don't naturally walk up to people I don't know with confidence, business card in hand, ready to tell them how awesome I am and why they should give me lots of their money to perform a service for them. Some people have that natural enterprising spirit but I sure don't.
Also, with a lot of this sort of stuff, I tend to like the theory more than the practice. I like learning about what different accents sound like and studying their individual phonologies, but that's a very different thing from sitting down and working with people one-on-one to make sure they're aspirating their initial /v/s the way a native Hindi speaker would. I've done a limited amount of this sort of work with people, and while it's been fun, I wouldn't want to have to rely on it as my sole means of income.
2) Travel Writer
Possibly my dream job. I'd love to go to different places and write about my experiences there, and combine it with talking about the history, geography, or culture of the place. Seems like a hard one to break into. I applied for an internship with Lonely Planet back around 1999 but obviously didn't get it. Though I do like to travel I don't know if I'd want to do it all the time. Like maybe two or three big trips a year would be my limit.
3) Meteorologist
I'm not even sure what a day in the life of a meteorologist is, but I imagine it involves reading charts and recording information. I like weather, but maybe my interest in experiencing different kinds would be better satisfied by #2.
4) Librarian
I've always been drawn to quiet, calming places, and so long as I wouldn't have had to work directly with the public, I think this could have been a pretty good gig. The downside- high potential for it being completely boring.
5) Museum Curator
My undergrad in anthropology prepared me either for doing this or for going on to teach anthropology, although both require advanced degrees to even get an entry-level position. Again, like libraries, I was always drawn to the quiet, calming quality of these places. I took a great museum class at CSUF my penultimate semester there but didn't want to pursue a Master's in Anthro, when it came right down to it. Also, my understanding is that there is a very small supply of these jobs relative to the number of people who want them.
6) Veterinary Technician
A lot less schooling than a DVM, but you still have a marketable skill, and who wouldn't love working with animals? My own time spent working in a vet clinic consisted of waking up very early to clean cages while being paid a low hourly wage. If I had stuck with it and moved up I would have gotten the AA required to be a VT, but at the time I already had a BA and I thought such a move would have been counter-productive.
7) Academic
At this point I think I'm done with being a student, and with school in general. Sometimes I think I wouldn't mind being a lecturer. But then I think, just because I'm enthusiastic about a subject, does that mean I can get a room full of sixty 18 to 22 year olds to share my enthusiasm as well? Probably not. I wouldn't mind writing articles or even text-books in my area of interest. Doing scholarly research would be fine, but I have no interest in doing lab-based experiments.
8) Musician
A career in music always sounded fun to me, but ultimately grew to look like a better avocation than anything. The problem I always had was that I couldn't figure out in what capacity I wanted to work with music. I was too shy to be a performer, not schooled enough or interested in theory to be a teacher. Maybe the best option for me would have been:
9) Instrument Repairman/Piano Tuner/Restorer
I don't know why, but for some reason this always seemed like a great job. Straightforward work, quiet environment, low stress. I don't know why I think I'd want to be a piano tuner because I don't even know how to play one. I guess it always just seemed like a really easy, no hassle kind of a job.
10) Professional Baseball Player
This was the plan when I was about seven, but don't laugh, it's not too late. Judging by their performance in the ALDS against the Red Sox, it looks like the Angels could use some help off the bench. Unfortunately a complete and utter lack of ability to play the game at a competitive level (even against other seven year-olds) prevented this dream from ever coming true.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Hello.... McFly...!
The guy who played Biff in the Back To The Future movies sings a song about questions people ask him about the experience:
Playoffs Update
ALCS- Even though the Rays had a better record and won the division, I think head-to-head the Red Sox will prevail. Also, it will be cathartic to see the Dodgers beat the Sox in the World Series. Boston in 6.
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