A Show I Don't Like

My wife and I have been to both locations of Anthony Bourdain's Les Halles restaurants in New York a couple of times. It's one of our default special occasion and taking-guests-from-out-of-town places. French food with an unassuming twist. Awesome Steak Frites for $19, traditional fare like escargot and foie gras if you're feeling adventurous, and probably the best creme brulee I've ever had anywhere. It's a great place. After one visit my wife offhandedly asked the waiter what Anthony Bourdain was really like. The waiter responded "He's great; he's a really cool guy."

Bobby Flay also has a couple of restaurants in the city. The only one I've been to is called Mesa Grill. It's pricey but the food is damn good. The signature dish is a pork tenderloin topped with a tangy chili sauce. The pork is super-tender, and even better, the sauce is SPICY. I love it when places aren't afraid to serve stuff hot like that. The margaritas at Mesa Grill are solid, and I had a Yucatecan tacos appetizer there once that I still think about from time to time. Again, after one of our meals there my wife asked the waiter what Bobby Flay was really like. "Oh, he's a dick," is what the waiter said.

And I can believe it. I've grown to really hate the show "Throwdown: with Bobby Flay". It's pretentious, it's pompous, it's just plain mean. The premise is that Bobby Flay sends a film crew out to some cook somewhere who's known for, usually, some kind of a regional speciality (ie, fried chicken, lasagna, crab cakes) under the guise that they're being profiled for the Food Network. Then, right in the middle, Bobby and his freakish red hair jump out and everyone's supposed to be blown away that it's really him (it's really funny to see when the people obviously don't know who he is), at which point Bobby challenges them to a "throwdown".

The throwdown consists of Bobby and the regional cook having a contest to see who can make the better (fill in the blank). Of course, Bobby is a world-class chef and has a crew of people working for him. Bobby is able to spare no expense, whereas the local cooks have undoubtedly been under pressure to perfect their specific dishes so that they're not only tasty but also cost-effective to mass produce and serve in their restaurants. It really bothers me that this point is never acknowledged by the show.

The worst part is the judging, where usually they get some renowned food critic and then just some fat local guy who likes to eat a lot of whatever the throwdown dish is. The judging always goes something like this: "Well, Dish A is really, really good. In fact, it's amazing. The ingredients are so fresh, are those Montenegran truffles I taste? And Dish B, well, when I think of real authentic, home-made ___ this is what I think of", which is just a nice of saying "Oh my God, Bobby Flay's food is incredible and gourmet, and the local's stuff tastes like good local stuff."

Bobby Flay's food clearly always tastes better as a result of all his advantages, not the least of which is that he's simply a great cook. The locals "win" about half the time, I think, because the judges just feel bad for them. It's disheartening to see a couple of grandmas from Munclon, Maine, who've been making chocolate-chip cookies for 45 years lose a cookie baking contest to a jerk like Bobby Flay. I'm half expecting the next throwdown to be at a lemonade stand, where Bobby wipes the floor with a couple of 8 year-old kids. Chili-chipotle lime-ade from Bobby is what I'm putting my money on.

The one time I did enjoy watching the show was the one where the throwdown ingredient was Chicago-style deep dish pizza. The competitor was clearly just as a big a jerk as Bobby is, and was riding him and insulting New York pizza the whole time. Not in a facetious, playful way, but in a pretty mean-spirited way. You could tell Bobby Flay was pissed. I had to watch it to the end, though, because I knew I'd enjoy watching either one of them lose.